


Wind

by Hyogacamus1984



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 32,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyogacamus1984/pseuds/Hyogacamus1984
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.</p><p>Ecclesiastes 1:9</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse the grammatical errors, English is not my first language! Feel free to contact me if you'd like to beta my work!

28/09/2034

 

Tate Modern has never seen so much people.

The Metropolitan Police has never worked harder.

The front page of every national newspaper has never been so in sync.

It would have been the 50th birthday of one Jack McQueen, a famous photographer.

His family has decided to host an exhibition in celebration of the photographer’s life.

He died 2 month ago.

And finally, a selection of photo of Jack has finally surfaced, along with a selection of unpublished photos that he took throughout his short life.

Jack was a well-known photographer who took photos of scenery.

Mainly in black and white.

These selections of unpublished photos are the usual black and white photos that everybody expected, but within the collection there were colour photos.

One of himself, and a selection of a male model.

Everybody was in awe.

The model sits on a pristine white bed with has a beautiful smile, blue sparkling eyes and a natural, comfortable posture.

It starts with a quiet murmur.

Then someone suddenly screamed.

"That's... That's Louis Tomlinson!"

 

About Jack McQueen

Jack, from Cheshire, England was born on 1st February, 1994; died 23rd July 2034 in L.A, California. He was never married, but no one knows exactly who he was. His older sister, Gemma was his PA, and took care of every publish affairs. Gemma's son, Edward Horan starts helping out when he turned 16, and took over most of the work when he starts university. Gemma might not be working as his PA, but she still has the final decision with anything to do with Jack. No one knows what Jack looked like until after his death, at the celebration of his life exhibition. The photo that was on displayed shocked the world. It was then when people found out who 'Jack McQueen' was – a man named Harry Styles.

The photo was in colour, unlike any of his other pieces.

Harry Styles, aka Jack McQueen - was an absolutely breathtakingly beautiful human being that deserves to be in the front of the camera, not behind it.

In the middle of the large room hangs one single photo of Jack.

He was sitting on the floor, his head tilted to the side, a pair of dark jeans clung to his legs, and he wore a simple white t-shirt.

He had beautiful dark thick curls pushed back with a headscarf, bright green eyes like emeralds, and his skin milky white.

He had an infectiously smile and mesmerizing dimples.

His arms rested on top of his knees, and you can see a thin silver band on his ring finger on the right, and an earring on his left ear.

He looked calm, serene, someone with no temper.

Just like his photographs.

The green, the gold, the white, the silver… all his photographs have that calming effect on everybody.

The balance between realistic and idealistic.

His first and foremost photograph, the one that made him famous – ‘moment’.

‘Moment’ is a photograph of dusk, of London skyline.

A simple photo with magnificent colours.

The feeling of the end of the day, some sees it as the quiet goodbye, some sees it as the start of the night.

The pink-y purple-y colour at dusk.

Dusk, the time that neither belongs to the day, nor it belongs to the night.

‘Moment’ became one of those prints that everybody knew of, and one of those that people have seen across the world in a magazine, on TV, everywhere.

In one of the many art auctions in New York, someone nameless bought the beautiful piece back to England.

No one knows where it was since then.

 

About Louis Tomlinson

Louis, from Doncaster, England was born on 24th December 1991; died 23rd July 2034 on a plane on the way home after a business meeting abroad.

He got married when he turned 22, he has only one daughter.

Louis Tomlinson practically controlled the movement of good across the world.

His step-father originally owned a medium size business in logistic that covers the UK.

His wife, Briana Jungwirth inherited her father’s logistic business in America after he died, and it became part of the Empire.

The Deakin logistic business took over the world after their marriage, and eventually renamed to the ‘Tomlinson’ after Louis took over.

No one knows exactly how much Mr. Tomlinson is worth, but he was a frequent member of the Forbes 500 and he was often seen rubbing shoulders with the high end of society and often seen him hosting charity dinners.

Photos from the newspapers, magazine and media in general have shown that Mr. Tomlinson is a good looking man. He has chestnut coloured feathery hair, bright blue eyes and there was always a gentle smile on his face. People from the office said that Mr. Tomlinson, though he is approachable and he knew every single one of his employees by their names and knew about their families, he tended to keep everybody at arm’s length. He was very focus, and he put in 200% if he wanted something done.

On his way back home after a business trip as the private jet was flying over Switzerland, something happened to the engine.

Nobody survived.

Tomlinson Empire was left to solely his daughter, age 19; still in university.

 

Styles and Tomlinson

Both of them died on the same day.

Both deaths appeared in the same magazines and the same newspapers.

It was an unfortunately day for two brilliant people to die on the same day.

A bit like Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.

Nobody suspected anything.

Until now.

 

So there it goes, the gossips and the rumours.

Different stories that were published about the relationship between them, he said ‘this’ and she said ‘that’, national paper and international paper can’t get enough of the story.

 

Edward receives a phone call from a stranger on the fifth day of the exhibition.

“Hello.” The female stranger’s voice comes from the phone, sounding determined. “I am Darcy. Darcy Tomlinson.”

“You are… Mr. Tomlinson’s daughter?” Edward asked.

He has no idea who she is until recently; the name was everywhere in the newspaper as well as on TV alongside with his uncle’s name. He turns his phone on and it was in his email.

Her name is everywhere.

“Correct. Do you have time?”

“Is there something I can do for you?”

“I’d like to have a chat with you, the story between your uncle, and my father.”

 “Where?” There isn’t a reason for Edward to say no. She has been frank with him from the beginning.

“Do you know London?”

“I know it well enough.” He answered.

“I’d like to meet you at home, if you don’t mind. I’d like to show you something.” She said.

 

***

 

It is quite obvious Tomlinson has money.

The Tomlinson has a semi-detached town house in Fitzrovia.

He rings the doorbell.

A girl with long feathery blonde hair with large piercing blue eyes opens the door.

Just like the boy in Jack’s photos.

“Mr. Horan?”

“Miss. Tomlinson.”

“Come on in. Would you like a cup of tea?” Darcy asks as she leads them into the house.

“I’d like some water, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course.” She smiles and sits him in the sitting room. “I thought this is more comfortable in the sitting room than the living room. Give me a sec, I’ll be back with your water and a cup of tea for myself.”

“Thank you.”

The Tomlinson doesn’t just own on town house in Fitzrovia.

From the inside, it was clear that 3 town houses was gutted and made into one.

Everything in the house was simple but elegant.

Everything is unique and it looks as if someone has taken so much care with decorating this place.

Things might have been casually place on top of a set of chest, or a random photo has been hung on the wall, but when you inspected it closely, everything is in that place, for a reason.

The decoration is mainly in monochrome, but it doesn’t feel cold or empty, in fact – it feels like home.

“Sorry took me a while.” She says as she walks into the sitting room with a glass of water in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

“I hope you didn’t call me to tell me the photos my uncle took might have possibly violated the image rights of your father.” Edward decides to speak first. Having grown up in America, he is well aware that everything is sue-able – he didn’t do a degree in media law for nothing. There is a reason why his mother didn’t even bat an eyelash at him when he told her he would like to take over the ‘family business’. “We are still not too sure if it is your father or not.” Darcy smiles and shakes her head.

“I can confirm the man in the photographs, was my father.” She says with confident.

“How… are you sure?” He is in shock and eventually manages to spit out those words and proceeds to think if he knows of any good barrister.

Always good to plan ahead if Darcy decides to sue him for violation of privacy.

Darcy opens up a box that was sitting on the coffee table and pulls out a photo.

Edward’s jaw drops.

No one really develop photographs anymore.

All the prints of Jack’s photo are on the heaviest weight paper because it was easier to mount and it was less likely to fade, but there it is – Darcy was hold one of those old school photographs and hands the photograph to Edward.

It is the same young man in the photo.

And one of the photos from the exhibition.

On the pack of the photo, it reads ‘To Lou, all my love, H, 2011’.

Edward is familiar with the handwriting.

It is his uncle, Harry aka Jack’s handwriting.

 “Come with me.” Darcy says, standing up from the sofa. Edward follows her.

As she pushes open the door, first thing Edward sees was the photo that he knows like the back of his hand.

Moment.

Just the single photograph on a completely blank wall.

Edward also knows for a fact that is the original. He recognises the frame, and he sees the tiny little signature that his uncle left on each of his original prints.

 

_The original ‘Moment’ was bought by Louis Tomlinson._

 

He follows Darcy into the room and he also recognises the scent in the air.

The same scent that his uncle sprayed into the air.

VIP 212.

Harry would spray it into the air in the dark and just sat in it with his eyes closed, a sad smile lingered on his face.

This room looks different from everything from the rest of the house.

Yes, the room is still decorated in monochrome, but it looks old.

It looks like the room has been in a time capsule.

The next thing he notices is the fact that this is the exact same room as the photos from exhibition.

The same room where the photo that Darcy shown him earlier.

Harry Styles took a series of photos of Louis Tomlinson in this exact room.

“My father bought everything that was auctioned by Jack. He didn’t care where the photo was from, he would make sure to bring it back. To this place. Every single room has a photograph that was taken by Jack.” She looks up. “See the light above you?” Darcy asks and Edward looks up. “It doesn’t work. The electrician came earlier and said the light hasn’t worked for at least 30 years.”

“What?”

Darcy didn’t answer and walks out of the room and signals Edward to follow her up the stairs.

Edward nearly walks into Darcy as she gets to the top and stops.

“Sorry, I am not too sure where I am going.”

“What do you mean you aren’t sure where you are going?” Edward wants to laugh but he doesn’t think it’s respectful.

“I don’t usually stay this end of the house. This part was left to my father after my grandparents died. I have never actually been here before he died. My parents never talk much about this end. I came after I saw the news about the exhibition. My father’s two oldest sisters, Aunt Lottie and Aunt Fizzy were the one told me about it. I don’t know how much you know about houses, but originally the corner house is where my father’s family grew up. Eventually as people moved out and sold the one next door, my grandparents bought it and expanded it and then the next one too. Apparently, according to my aunts, my father took residency down this wing, and middle house becomes the bit where they greet people and the east wing is where the rest of the family tends to stay when they are in London. Aunt Lottie said no one comes up to this side of the house anymore, even though it is the house they grew up in. It turned out that my father used to spend a lot of time on his own in the west wing. Then I discovered all the photographs by Jack.”

“Is this it?”

“What?”

“Nothing else? Say, a diary? Or anything?”

“Nothing.” Darcy shakes her head. “To be honest I have never seen my father with a smile like that. I don’t remember him ever smiling from his heart. This is the only photo that I know my family was once someone that was capable of a real smile.”

“You knew the moment the exhibition was on the newspaper.” Edward says, it came out more like a statement.

The whole room is quiet. Edward turns the photo over once more and looks at the writing that he is so familiar with.

 

_Not Louis. Not Mr. Tomlinson._

_Lou._

_Not Harry. Not Jack._

_H._

_Not ‘all the love’, not ‘lots of love’ as Uncle Harry always signed._

_‘All my love’._

He has never heard his uncle being called that before; maybe once or twice his dad might have called him ‘Haz’ or ‘Hazza’, but his uncle didn’t like that.

H.

A simple letter that holds a million secret.

 

Edward can imagine how his uncle would have murmured ‘Lou’ slowly as he always did in his deep voice to get the other person’s attention, and capture the perfect moment when he turned around.

Eyes shone with admiration, happiness and Love.

 

_What had happened to a man that made him sit in a dark room, surround by a scent that made a sad smile linger on his face?_

_What had happened to a man that made him sit in a dark room, with a photograph of dusk?_

_What had happened?_

“Mr. Horan, with due respect – are you not curious at all?” Darcy asks, finally tells him why she contacted him. “I need your help. Because you know about your uncle the most, besides your mother, and possibly your father. And I am sure as his sister and his brother-in-law, they wouldn’t want to say too much – just like how my aunts wouldn’t tell me too much about my own father, when they saw the photos at the exhibition.”

 

_To be honest, one of the reasons of the exhibition is to find out who this young man is._

_What possess Uncle Harry to take a series of photo that were filled with love and happiness, something that he has never saw it in real life._

_And also took a photo of Uncle Harry full of love and life._

 

“Okay.” He says. “I do have one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Whatever we found out about them, if one of us doesn’t agree to publish it to the public, we won’t.”

“Not a problem.” Darcy answers and sticks out her little manicured finger. Edward raises an eyebrow at her. “Nothing beats a good old pinky swear.”

“Pinky swears.” He repeats and hooks his little finger with her, and their thumb pads pressed together as a confirmation. “Also. Maybe you can call my uncle ‘Harry’? Calling him Jack is just weird.”

“He’s always been ‘Jack’ to me. Deal with it.”

 

They are not aware that 20 odd years ago, a young man with blue eyes made a promise with a young man with green eyes in this same house.

Only there promise was too heavy for either of them to carry on their shoulders.

The hands that once held together were never meant to last.

Someone once said that holding hand is the saddest thing in a relationship – because you will have to let go.

Eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis’ waves his arm in the air and throws the alarm clock onto the floor.

He sits up on his bed and rubs his eyes.

First day in St. George’s.

He throws on the navy blue uniform that hangs at the back of his bedroom door and then looks at the black and red tie in disgust.

He leaves the top of his shirt open and put the tie round his neck.

 

_Just need to graduate. And that’s it._

_Sit through the classes, pass my exams and that’s it._

 

Louis can never get use to the looks he gets every time he starts a new school. He doesn’t like the solitude feeling of standing in front of a whole class (even though the class is usually only about 15 odd people). It’s not daunting per se, just annoying.

He stands there next to the form tutor, hands in his pocket and his messenger bag across his torso.

He radiates confidence and he knows people are judging him the moment he stands on the podium.

“Louis Tomlinson is going to join us for our final year.” The form tutor announces to the class. “Would you like to take a seat at the back, Mr. Tomlinson?” Louis smirks and makes his way to the back of the classroom. Some of the girls start to gossip.

“He’s cute.”

“Look at those eyes.”

There is just one person sitting at the back row from the back, on his own, head in his arms with a full head of curls and there is only one empty seat at the back.

Louis sat down next to him and pokes his arm.

“Leave me alone newbie.”

 

***

 

First day of school is always boring.

Going through schedules, going through what you are allowed to do and what you are not allowed to do.

Louis thinks the form tutor is probably doing it for his benefit.

He doesn’t really care – all he wants is to finish his final year of school.

He has been kicked out too many times.

Louis watches the boy in front of him.

His head is still on his arm, and he is still very much not paying attention to whatever it is.

The boy next to him finally turns his head and faces Louis.

The boy is beautiful.

He catches his eyes when he lazily opens them.

“What are you staring at?” He asks, voice still full of sleep.

Louis doesn’t answer him.

After a massively long first day, all Louis wants to do is to go home.

And to find out the name of the guy sitting next to him.

He decides it is going to be a long battle, so he starts to pack up when the girls gossiping earlier suddenly appear in front of him.

“Do you want to come out with us tonight?” one of the girls asks.

“Thought it’d be nice to celebrate your first day at a new school?” another one adds.

“No thanks ladies.” Louis smiles emotionlessly, with a hint of annoyance. “It’s nice meeting you though.”

Louis hears a snicker coming from the person next to him.

The three girls look at each other, with one look – they know Louis isn’t worth messing with.

Someone who start sixth form in an aristocratic school that has been known to not accept any students for A-Levels?

His family must be something.

The three of them move very quickly away from Louis towards the door and leave.

Louis turns and looks at the person still sitting next to him, still with his head in his arms.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Louis asks.

“Harry. Harry Styles.”

“Are you planning to leave?” Louis asks.

“Sure.” But there is no sign of him packing up or moving. He puts on his headphones, and he head back into his arms.

Louis watches the rest of the class slowly walk out of the room.

Louis watches the rest of the school slowly walk out of the gate.

Louise watches Harry, who still has no sign of moving.

He puts his arms onto the desk too, and rests his head on it.

***

“Louis.”

Louis opens his eyes and he feels a crank in his neck.

He has fallen asleep on a desk in school. His head shoots up and turns, and saw Harry still next to him.

“It’s nearly six.” Harry says. “You’ve been asleep on your desk.”

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

“You literally passed out. Didn’t want to wake you.”

“Well why are you waking me up now?”

“Everybody is gone, even the ones that have after school activities. And I’ve gotta get home.” He answers.

“Thanks…?”

Louis finally has a chance to look at Harry properly.

He guesses right – Harry is beautiful.

Green eyes like emeralds and dark curly hair framing a face like a cherub.

He always believes that no one is perfect, but after he sees Harry, he believes Harry is probably as close as perfect gets.

Harry picks up his bag and slowly makes his way to the door. Louis follows him closely.

“Why do you leave so late?”

“I don’t like to be surrounded.” Harry answers quietly. “And I have a habit of tripping over and falling on flat surface where there are too many people around me.” Harry turns and looks at Louis. “I stayed an extra hour today though. Because SOMEONE was asleep.”

Harry takes very careful steps as he walks down the stairs. Louis walks behind him and time and time again Louis really thinks Harry is about to fall, but he usually catches himself just in time.

Harry looks like he wobbles down the stairs like a toddler.

“Careful.” The word slips out of Louis’ mouth.

“Don’t worry about me.” Harry says, stops half way on the staircase.

“It’s okay. I’m in no rush.”

“You are making me nervous.” Harry says quietly again, as if he was scared. He hangs his head low and he crowds even closer to the hand rail.

Louis then realises that with him lingering behind Harry, Harry feels pressured and if he doesn’t like crowds, then he probably isn’t a fan of people in close proximities.

Louis moves in front of him, and walks down the stairs, completely aware of exactly where Harry is behind him.

The school is quiet.

Harry takes his time.

When they get to the gate, Louis recognises the car sitting in the carpark.

He snorts. Harry looks at him.

The driver gets out of the car and jogs towards the passenger door and opens it for Louis.

“Hope you have had a good day, sir.”

Louis wants the ground to swallow him up.

He looks at Harry, who is watching him with a sneer.

“Have a good evening – SIR.” Harry mocks and walks the other way.

His voice is different. Slightly higher and slightly more lively. Louis reaches out and grabs his wrist.

“I can drop you home?”

“No thank you.” Harry waves and shakes off his hand on his wrist before walking away. “I only live a few blocks from here.”

Louis gets into the car and sighs.

 

_What is that weird feeling?_

_I have never wanted to spend so much time with someone before._

_I just want to spend all my time with him._

_Find out everything about him._

_First things first – get rid of the driver._


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks later, the exhibition has finished. Edward deals with the aftermath of the exhibition, packs all the prints away and gets them ready to ship them back to California.

He answers many phone calls with a ‘I neither acknowledge nor deny the person in the photograph is Mr. Louis Tomlinson’ and replies to many emails with a ‘Sorry this exhibition is only held in London as this is Jack McQueen’s hometown and final resting place’.

His phone rings for the millionth time for the day, and he just wants to ignore it and have a quiet evening, when Darcy’s name flashes across the screen.

“Edward? They were in the same secondary school.” She says excitingly the moment he picks up.

“I thought we have figured that one out. Already with the date on the photograph?”

The photograph was dated 2010.

Edward also knows the photo was dated 2010. He has all the prints.

  1. Uncle Harry would have been 16.



How old would have Louis Tomlinson been?

“As in the same class.” Darcy answers the question that lingers in his mind. “But I have looked through dad’s year book, but Jack isn’t in there.”

“They might have been in the same school, but there was a 3 years’ different between them.” Edwards argues. “They couldn’t have been classmates.”

“2 school years only.” Darcy answers. “And I knew you would say that. I have tried to call the school, asking if there was a past student called ‘Harry Styles’. They said because I am not family, they can’t give me any details. They said they CAN’T give me the details, not they DON’T have the details.”

“So you mean they might possibly have a past student called ‘Harry Styles’.” Edward guesses. “But my mum and dad both went to the same school. Neither of them mentioned anything.”

“Well it’s up to you to ask them. But since you are family, it means you can access the information.” Darcy adds. “Are you up for a trip to St. George’s?”

 

***

 

St. George’s isn’t too far from the rented apartment that Edward is staying. He waits for Darcy, who arrives a few minutes after he did in her car. She signals him to get into the car.

The gates are high, and there is no way to get into the school undetected.

“What’s the plan?” Edward asks.

“Private school with high security…” Darcy says, swings her car round to the side of the school. “…means that is a guest entrance.” Just like she said, there is a gate round the side of the school, away from the main road. “I went to one, I would know.”

She parks the car and the two of them jump out of the car and slam the door.

Both of them jump at how loud that was.

As if the slam of the car doors shook the trees.

Edward sees sign for the reception, and the two of them strut up to the reception. The moment they walks into the double door, Darcy’s seven inches Louboutins echoes in the empty hallway.

Half past two in the afternoon, most students will be in class.

“Can I help you?” A voice asks and a shadow appears from the office. A tall dark man with deep features.

“I am Darcy Tomlinson.” Darcy says, steps up to the figure who just walks out. “I called earlier today. My father is Louis Tomlinson.”

“Miss. Tomlinson.” He says and extends his hand towards her. Darcy quickly shakes it. “Zayn Malik. We talked on the phone.” He turns and looks at Edward. “And this is…”

“Edward. Edward Horan.” Edward answers, also extends his hand and shakes his. “I am Harry Styles’ nephew. Niall Horan is my dad. He was a student here too.”

The man in front of them looks shocked for a second before he quickly recovers.

“Who knew?” Zayn mumbles, shaking his head and looks at the two of them. “So. What can I do for you?” Darcy nudges him.

“I’d like to access my family’s information, if that’s possible?” Edward asks. “Whatever I can find.”

“Please, follow me.” Zayn says and starts walking. Darcy and Edward follow him. “Harry and Gemma left before they finished the school year.” Darcy and Edward look at each other. Zayn opens the door to the filing room and the two of them follow him in. “I would know; I was in school with them.” The two of them look at each other, either of them sure what to say. Zayn opens one of the drawers and pulls out 4 different files. Two of them are full, the other two, practically empty. “Harry and Gemma have their whole file here. I remember her parents came to school and took Gemma out half way through the day, and I haven’t seen her since. She looked as if she expected it to happen. Harry hasn’t been in school for a while by then. Even Niall didn’t know where they were. Louis and Niall however, graduate from here and took their transcript with them. Also, Louis was only here for two years. Harry and Gemma were both here since primary school.”

Darcy and Edward flipped through the files, but there isn’t any new information.

“Mr. Malik, did you say you were in school with them?” Edward asks. Zayn nods. “As in the same school, or the same year?”

“Same year. We were all in the same year. I was in the same class as Gemma and Niall. Harry was in the same class as Louis.” Zayn reminisces, looking out of the window of the filing room. “I came here in year 7. We were all in the same year. Harry skipped a year, Louis was here to repeat sixth form.”

“Skipped a year?” Darcy asks. Zayn nods.

“Gemma told us when they started school, Anne and their dad divorced and no one to look after Harry. The school decided that they would let Harry start school a year early with Gemma. Anne was to make a decision at the end of the year if Harry was to repeat the year. Apparently no one remembered it and Harry just carried on.”

Darcy and Edward look at each other again.

Fate.

Zayn hands over Harry and Gemma’s files to Edward – they were supposed to be return to the student when they leave the school, but the Styles’ never took them.

Now that there is a family member here, Zayn gladly returns the transcript.

“I shouldn’t be doing this, but here.” Zayn whispers, hands over a telephone number written on a Post-It note. Darcy takes it. “Call Liam. He’ll be able to tell you more.”

 

***

 

By the time the two of them finishes with Zayn, school is over for the day, and a lot of the students are playing and making the most of the winter sunshine.

“What do you think?” Darcy asks and turns to look at Edward.

“Friends, I guess?”

“But why haven’t I heard about ‘Harry’ from my dad? And why haven’t your parents talked about my dad?”

“They have had a fight.”

“About…?” Edward shrugs and signed ‘how would I know’.

They watches a bunch of kid play football for a while, and Darcy sighs.

“My dad loved football.”

“So does my dad. Uncle Harry, on the other hand – he was useless.”

A ball flew towards Edward, and without thinking he sweeps his foot at the ball and kicks it back to the pitch.

“You’re not bad at it.”

Edward shrugs.

It actually hurts a bit – he isn’t wearing the right shoes for football, but he is not going to admit that in front of Darcy.

He has to keep up his manly posture somehow.

 

_School._

_Always a good place for memories._

“Maybe your father used to play football here.” Edward mumbles.

“Maybe.” Darcy answers. “I only know about his love for football because my mother told me. He treated me like a princess, he never talks football with me, but he’s always there to watch the Disney Princess movies and sing along with me.”

“Even though Uncle Harry doesn’t play, he would watch football quietly when the World cup is on. With dad.” Edward suddenly remembers. “He didn’t show much passion though, whereas my dad would be screaming at the TV. He sometimes throws food at the TV, and my mum would get really angry with him. I guess he is Irish after all.”

 

_Uncle Harry was a mystery._

_He loved and he cared a lot about me._

_But he was always so quiet. He lived in his own world._

_As if he evolved himself round a mysterious centre, a centre that only he knew of._

_The only reason he lived._

Edward and Darcy get back into her car.

Both of pondering on the conversation they just had with Zayn, and the number that he gave them.

Liam.

Both Darcy and Edward are aware that it will be very weird to just randomly call someone up, when they don’t even know his last name.

Darcy looks up her father’s year book and found one Liam.

Liam Payne.

With the connection within the Tomlinson business, Darcy finds the information she needs about Liam Payne.

Liam James Payne, 41.

Senior partner in a top accounting firm in London.

Married to Sophia Smith, two kids – a boy and a girl, both currently in secondary school.

St. George’s.


	4. Chapter 4

It only takes a few days until the whole school is aware of the new student, Louis Tomlinson.

He is like a real life prince.

Rich, smart, clever and of course, handsome.

Problem is, Mr. Tomlinson doesn’t like to mingle.

Many people approach him, wanting to make friends, everybody failed.

It takes another few weeks until the whole school is aware that the new student is not a fan of socialising, and he doesn’t really care for friends.

Except one.

He pays extra attention to the curly-headed loner in his class.

From the first day when they sat next to each other, Louis makes it his mission to get a reaction out from Harry.

“He’s a weird.”

Just because he doesn’t say much.

“He likes to be alone. He’s a genius. He started school a year early.”

He probably is, if he sleeps through classes and still passes them.

“Emotionally unstable.”

He is emotionally stable, to the point where he doesn’t react to anything.

“He likes to keep himself very much to himself.”

Well most of the time he’s asleep so…

“He thinks we are all below him.”

If he is a genius that you are probably all below him. Probably jealous of him to be honest.

 

To Louis, Harry is a great target.

The less Harry reacts, the more Louis wants to get a reaction from him.

Every morning he asks Harry to copy his homework.

Every morning Harry hands his own schoolbag to him.

Every morning Louis sits next to him and copies his homework.

Every morning Louis teases Harry about doing his homework for him.

Louis follows Harry everywhere.

To the bathroom during break time, to the water fountain between lessons.

The only time Louis doesn’t follow Harry is lunch time.

Because Harry gets escort from the classroom away to have lunch.

By the time the bell rings, Louis can’t find Harry.

 

***

 

Louis goes a little bit too far one day.

He tries to (yet again) get a reaction from Harry, but again, nothing.

“Are you the Hulk or something? Trying to not get angry and turn green? Or are you emotionally unstable so you don’t have any emotions just in case you go to the dark side? Do you have any emotions?”

 Harry looks at him, then at the clock on the wall.

He puts everything away and rushes out of the classroom.

“Mr. Styles!” The teacher shouts after Harry. He looks at his watch and shakes his head. “Homework. Please complete question 1 to 10 on page 57, and I expect them to be in my pigeon hole by end of the week. Any questions?”

Louis sinks into his chair and sighs.

Why doesn’t the teacher stop Harry?

Why is Harry allowed to be dismissed before class finishes?

Louis starts putting away his books when a brunette female suddenly run into the classroom like a tornado, and follows by a blond male.

Her fury radiates off her.

Everybody in the classroom move away from her path like the Red Sea.

“What did you do to Harry?” The female asks, grabbing Louis’ tie and drags him out of the classroom and towards the end of the corridor, nearly strangle him. No one tries to stop her except for the blond male that is with her. He wraps his arms around her, but she isn’t loosening her grip on his tie.

“Come on Gemma, let’s go to lunch. Harry’s waiting…” The blond male says with a heavy Irish accent.

“I don’t even know you! I didn’t do…”

“You know Harry.” Gemma interrupts. “And that’s good enough. What did you do to my Harry?”

“Nothing!” Louis says quickly. “I just asked if he has any emotions at all.”

“Gem.” A voice says quietly from behind them. Harry appears out of nowhere. The blond man let go of Gemma, and Gemma let go out Louis, quickly hurries towards Harry. “Please can we go and have lunch?”

“Always.” She answers, gently strokes his face with her palm, her smile softens. “Niall?”

“On my way. Give me a sec.” The blond male answers. As Gemma and Harry walk away holding hands, Niall turns to Louis. “Lucky for you Gemma doesn’t kill in front of Harry. And I draw the line on physical harm. Just… stay away from Harry. If you need a plaything, find somebody else.”

Niall steps away and jogs after Gemma and Harry, hooking his arm round Gemma’s shoulder.

Louis follows a fair distance away from Harry, Gemma and Niall.

They meet up with three other people and sit in a quiet corner of the canteen with their lunch.

Harry is still very quiet, the rest of them laughing and chatting. Harry takes small mouthful of food, and looks at Gemma every couple of bites. She smiles at him with encouragement, and always presses kisses on the top of his head.

Louis wonders who everybody is.

At least he now knows where he sits at lunch.

 

***

 

Harry looks like he is back to normal after lunch.

For once, Harry isn’t sleeping or nodding off, or daydreaming. He is reading a book about lights and colours, with lot of words on the paper and not enough images (in Louis’ opinion).

Just before the bell rings, Louis kneels in front of Harry’s desk. He looks straight into his eyes.

“Are you angry with me?” Louis asks.

“No.” Harry answers, still emotionless, resting his hand on top of the book.

“I am sorry. I was only joking. Please don’t be angry with me, I just need to know…?” Louis says, but it comes out like a question. He slowly covers Harry’s hands with his, fingers tangle together

 

_I can’t. Not when you look at me this way._

“I am not angry…” Harry says. “…with you.”

 “I promise you’re not my ‘plaything’.” Louis says, suddenly remembers what Niall said to him earlier.

The bell starts ringing; Louis sighs and sits back down next to Harry.

***

Saturday afternoon.

Louis sees Niall at Hyde Park playing football with some kids. 

“Hey.” Louis greets as he walks closer towards him.

“Are you friends with Niall?” a small child asks with a heavy Irish accent.

“I guess…?”

“Come play with us!”

After a good 45 minutes kicking the ball around with Niall and the kids, they finally sit down on the side watching the kids carry on.

“I have never seen you here.” Louis says.

“Don’t usually spend Saturday here.” He answers. “Got some family visiting from Ireland, ma decided it’s such a nice day we should get out a little more.”

“I see.”

“What you doing here?”

“I live round the corner.” Louis answers. “Thought I’ll do some shopping and go for a walk, since the weather is so nice.” Niall nods. “You have known Harry for a while?”

“Since we were little.” Niall answers. “Give me a sec. We can talk properly.” Louis nods as he watches Niall runs towards a bunch of people, talks to a blond lady that looks just like him, points at him and then runs back towards Louis. “Come on. I want to get some water.”

Niall and Louis walk towards one of the stands in Hyde Park to get some drinks, and sit down by the Memorial Fountain.

They just sit together until Niall finishes his bottle of water.

“Guess you want to know about Harry, and why Gemma is so fiercely protective.” Niall asks and Louis nods. “Gemma is Harry’s older sister.” Niall explains to Louis how Harry is in the same school year as they are. “Harry isn’t well.”

“Harry isn’t well?”

“Anne doesn’t say too much.” Niall says. “But I have known them long enough to see it with my own eyes. Also Gemma tells me things.”

“But what do you mean?”

“Harry’s got depression and anxiety.” Niall answers. “Which triggered him to become anorexic. He’s slowly recovering though.”

 

_That’s why he reacted to what Louis said._

_That’s why Gemma reacted the way she did when Harry said ‘please can we go have lunch’._

_The encouragement after every mouthful and the smiles._

“You do realise I have to let them know I told you, right?” Niall says at the end.

“Say whatever you will. There’s nothing wrong with Harry.” Louis answers. “And he’s not a ‘plaything’. I do want to be his friend.”

 

***

 

Nothing changes.

Louis still annoys Harry during lessons, Harry still gets full marks on everything without paying attention, and Louis still copies Harry’s homework in the morning.

Louis actually becomes even more persistent.

He sits close enough at lunch so he is in Harry’s vision, but not close enough to ‘invade’ his privacy.

Harry is well aware he is watching him at lunch.

Harry turns to him one morning after Louis complains how he can’t read Harry’s writing and maybe he is doing something so he can’t copy Harry’s homework anymore.

“Are you trying to get a reaction out of me? Do you just want to laugh at me when I scream and cry? May be a breakdown?”

 

_I am well aware of my condition._

_People don’t want to interact with me because everybody knew I have depression._

_They don’t know how to react round me._

_People see me differently because I skipped a year._

_I am well aware how people think I am weird._

_People approach me out of politeness, not because they want to be friends with me._

 

“I am not ‘trying’ anything.” Louis rolls his eyes. “And I don’t want to make you scream and cry, and I definitely am not planning to laugh at you if anything happens.” Harry blinks and looks at him. “It’s your face. You look lonely…?”

Louis actually feels like he is back in nursery, where you pick on someone because they are your favourite.

He reckons because he is so fond of Harry, his brain wants him to tease him just to balance out the emotions that is going through him.

Harry knows he is lonely.

His best friend is his sister, and in extension, his sister’s friends.

But he’s not alone.

He has his sister and his sister’s friends.

Harry likes Louis.

The first time their eyes caught each other, he knows he likes Louis.

Louis has really blue eyes.

Like the sea.

Louis also has soft feathery hair, like angel’s wings.

Harry knows he will make a beautiful model.

Pity about his height.

 

***

 

Harry likes to wait until most people have left the school ground or when people are in after school activities before leaving.

Gemma has head student duty.

Niall has head student assistant duty.

He somehow manages to not get into that kind of mess.

He thinks it is probably best for him not to get into that type of things.

Too much stress for him to take.

After the first day, Louis is aware how Harry likes to stay for an extra hour napping in the classroom before leaving school.

“Go home.” Harry says on that Friday at half past four. He starts to pack up, and Louis packs away as well. “Stop staying until late with me. Don’t you have a chauffeur waiting for you?”

“That’s my business.” Louis mumbles. “It’s not your school, I am allowed to stay for as long as I want.”

Harry shrugs and got up from his seat and heads out of the classroom.

Louis follows him out.

As they walk past the football pitch, the ball flies towards Harry. Louis, who is a football player moves and stands in front of Harry and catches the ball.

“Watch where you’re kicking the damn thing!” Louis shouts at the guy who kicked the ball towards Harry.

“I am after the lanky and skinny frog!” The male shouts back. “Come over here!”

Harry moves and heads towards the football pitch without much strain. He isn’t even upset that someone called him a name. Louis’ eyes open wide and shocked.

He follows swiftly after Harry after he recovered.

“Dinner out tonight?” the guy asks as he swings a sweaty arm round Harry’s shoulder. Harry doesn’t answer him.

“Don’t feel like it…”

“Come on!” He pushes, sounding sterner.

“He said he doesn’t want to go, which part do you not understand?” Louis asks in a ruthless voice.

“I thought you’ve left.” Harry turns around and looks at him.

“Don’t worry. I am good at this whole fighting thing.” Louis smiles gently at him, rolling up his sleeves.

“Who are you? It’s none your business, what Harry and I get up to.” He smirks, side-eying Louis before poking him with a finger.

Louis walks right up to the guy, throws his whole weight in and punches him in the face.

Within tenth of a second, the two of them are on the ground, brawling at each other.

“Louis, stop!” Harry shouts, he wants to get between them but he just can’t. “Li, Li – let go!”

Eventually they were separated by the entire football team.

“Come on Harry, let’s go.” Louis says to Harry, pulling his clothes and make sure he looks presentable.

What he isn’t expecting is a smile on the guy’s face.

 

_Weird guy._

Louis pulls Harry along and heads towards the school gate.

“Louis, do you need to go to the infirmary? Your face is swollen.” Harry says at Louis. “And there’s a cut on your lip.”

“Nah.” Louis answers. “Just a bit of a bruise. Nothing serious. You know the guy?”

“Liam. He’s one of my… friends?” Harry answers but it comes out like a question. “He wasn’t being rude you know.”

“But you called him ‘Li’.” Louis says, sounding upset.

“I don’t know what you’re upset about.” Harry answers. “We’ve known each other since we were little. He has always been ‘Li’.”

“Well I am going to be ‘Lou’ from now on.”

Harry isn’t sure if he wants to laugh or cry.

He sounds upset because he wants a slightly shorter version of his name, a ‘nickname’, per se?

“You sure you don’t want to go to the infirmary.” Harry asks again. “The swelling is quite impressive.”

“Yes.” Louis answers. Harry reaches out with a tissue and gives it to him.

“You’ve got a bit of dirt on your jaw.” Harry says, pointing at the side of his cheek. Louis keeps missing it, but when Harry reaches out, his body automatically takes a step back.

Harry smiles at his reaction.

 

_He thought I was going to attack him._

 

“I only live a short distance away, do you want to come over? Let’s put something on that and hopefully the bruise isn’t going to be popping in to visit your face tomorrow.” Harry smiles, turns and start walking towards his house. “Don’t want to ruin that beautiful face at the end of the day.”

“What did you say?” Louis asks, following right behind Harry.

Louis doesn’t realise how Harry keeps every at an arm’s distance, and yet – within weeks he has opened up to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward receives Darcy’s call first thing in the morning and rushes out towards her London house. He was five minutes early, but Darcy must have been watching him from the window. She turns up within minutes, very much still in her seven inches stilettos.

She however, looks defeated.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“I called earlier today.” She smirks and leads the way towards the Audi TT parked in front of the house. “When the voice picked up, I asked if I could talk to Mr. Liam Payne and straightaway he said ‘speaking’. So I asked him if he knows of a Harry Styles and a Louis Tomlinson. He said ‘no’ and hung up on me. The call lasted 46 seconds.” Edward laughs. He has never seen Darcy defeated before. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He answers, trying not to smile or laugh. “Is that why you called me?”

“We might as well make our way there.” Darcy says, unlocking her car and gets in.

“You know where he lives?” Edward asks, gets into the passenger side.

“I have a whole IT hacker team at work. They can find out anything with the tiniest details, and I have got his number. I inherited the company after daddy died. The company pretty much runs itself. I know the company like the back of my hand because I used to go there when I was little. I used to hate that place because I always thought that place kept my father away from me. I think maybe there was something more than that. I can’t sell because my father singlehandedly made the company what it is now” She answers, swaying the car illegally on the road, Edward’s eyes nearly pop out of his eye socket. “He’s only about 10 minutes from here. One Hans Crescent. Aunt Daisy still lives there.”

It was a quick drive, just round the corner from Darcy. It would have taken them about half an hour to walk it.

She walks straight up and rings the bell labelled ‘Payne’.

“Hello?” A female voice answers.

“Mrs. Payne?” Darcy asks.

“Speaking.”

“We are here to see Mr. Liam Payne?”

“Sure, please come up.” She says and the front door opens.

The two of them make their way to the maisonette, a beautiful dark headed lady already opened the door, waiting for them.

“Hi. You are…?”

“I am Edward. Edward Horan. I am Harry Styles’ nephew; and she is Darcy. Darcy Tomlinson.” Edward answers politely.

“You’re half a Horan and half a Styles.” Edward nods. She turns and looks at Darcy. “And you are a Tomlinson.” Darcy nods. “Oh my god.” She whispered to herself whilst shaking her head. “Please, come on in.” The two of them look at each other, and then follow her into the sitting room. “Liam? Come on down, we have guests!”

They hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Coming!” He shouts.

Darcy recognises the voice.

“That’s him!” Darcy whispers. “The one who hung up on me!”

Liam stands at the end of the stairs, his eyes wide open and his jaws on the floor.

There is no mistaken that Darcy is a Tomlinson. Small frame, feathery soft hair and piercing blue eyes.

Even though Edward is a Horan, he looks like a blonde (with a lilac streak in his hair, when Gemma decided that she used to look great with lilac hair and Niall did too – and Edward should try it) version of Harry – soft curly hair, green eyes and most of all, lanky.

“Mr. Payne.” Darcy says and extends her hand. “I’m Darcy. I called you earlier.”

“Please, make yourself comfortable.” Darcy and Edward sit down on the adjacent sofa. “Is there something you… want?” Liam asks, sitting down on one of the sofa with Sophia on the arm rest. He automatically reaches his arm up and rests his hand on her thigh.

“Can you… tell us about daddy?” Darcy asks. “And… Harry?”

Liam and Sophia look at each other, and they look at the two young people sitting in front of them.

“I don’t know where to start.” Liam sighs.

“What about at the beginning?” Edward asks.

 

_Liam and Harry have known each other since they were little._

_They used to live next door to each other, until Harry has to move because Anne decided to move in with Robin._

_They still see each other in school though._

_Liam has a dodgy kidney when he was little._

_Liam got sick the summer before he starts year 13._

_Sophia spent the first two weeks with Liam, taking care of him whilst his parents have to work._

_When he eventually starts school again, Gemma is dating Niall, and there is another person hanging around Harry._

“First time I met Louis, we were fighting within the first five minutes.” Liam reminisced with a smile on his face. “I sometimes call Harry the lanky and skinny frog. Because when he was little he looks like a frog, and there’s no denying it, he is lanky and skinny.” Edward nods, and so does Sophia. “It wasn’t something mean, it was just… us? Anyways, Louis heard me and punched me.”

“My dad… punched you?” Darcy asks, can’t quite believe what Liam was saying. “But my dad… he’s so proper!”

“Yes. Your dad.” Liam laughs. “I wouldn’t call him proper. I don’t know him well, because most of the time we hung out in a group. He was proper in the way that you can tell he is a posh boy. He was so small too. He looks like he belongs to the Bullington Club. I didn’t believe he knows how to throw a punch, but he did.”

 

_I called Harry that name on purpose._

_I don’t usually called Harry the lanky and skinny frog much.  It wasn’t something I like to call him._

_But I wanted to provoke Louis._

_Get a reaction from him of some sort._

_Sophia was weary when she saw Harry with Louis. Harry wasn’t good with new people and yet, Louis turns up at the beginning of the school year and within weeks he was hanging out with Harry._

_I wanted to prove to Harry that Louis wasn’t who he seemed._

_A nice guy._

_The moment I saw Harry with Louis, it was so obvious that Louis cared for Harry._

_The care was from deep within his heart, to the point where Liam was sure Louis was in love with Harry._

_Neither of them seemed to see it._

_I did – I have been with Sophia for so long, I knew exactly what that look was._

_Harry is the ‘person’ for Louis. The ‘person’ for him to laugh with, to laugh at and to care for; the ‘person’ for him to tease, to play with and of course – to love._

_Liam smiled when he watched Harry and Louis walked away._

“After that fight, we hung out. We included Louis in our little group.” Liam smiles, and Sophia nods. “There were only so many lessons we’ve got, and maybe it was a good thing that we spent time hanging out. I haven’t seen Harry since he left the country, near the end of the school year.”

Darcy and Edward nearly fall off the sofa.

It sounds like a perfect start for a very long story.

Liam just ends the story in 3 sentences.

“Have you seen this photo?” Darcy asks, handing over the slightly yellowed photo that she showed Edward.

“Yeah.” Liam answers. The two of them gasp. “At Jack’s exhibition.”

“Come on Li. Stop teasing them.” Sophia smiled. “We only found out Jack McQueen is Harry when we went to the exhibition.” The two of them nod. “To be honest, there’s nothing suspicious about the photos from our point of view. Harry loved taking photos. Louis and Harry were best friends. Harry would have taken photos of Louis.”

“What I don’t understand is, why didn’t Uncle Harry keep in touch with Mr. Tomlinson? And why did Uncle Harry and my mum stopped going to school?” Edward asks. “Surely if you’re best friends when you’re in school, you’d at least keep in touch somehow; the technology might not be as advance back in 2013, but it’s not like the end of the world.”

Liam and Sophia both sigh, but neither of them says anything.

Edward sees Sophia pulling on Liam’s sleeve.

Edward knows there is something that Liam hasn’t told them.

“The Styles moved to New York. Something to do with Robin’s job, I think? After Harry and Gemma moved, Niall decided to apply for university in New York, and he left after the summer. And I am just assuming that Niall and Gemma got back together when he got to New York; Edward is the best evidence. We kept in touch for the few years or so, I think? Louis too, went to university, and Liam and I were at the other end of the country. We both started to have our own lives, and it kinda just… ended. After that we’ve all been busy doing our own thing, and I guess we lost touch since.” Sophia answers, but it seems like she is trying to hide something, it all comes out more like a cover story more than anything.

Edward knows unless they find something else, they are not going to get very far at the Payne’s.

“Thank you very much for your time.” Darcy smiles and stood up. Edward follows her. Both Sophia and Liam stand up as well. “It’s lovely to find out more about my father, who was a very loving person but at the same time, very distant.”

“It’s lovely to meet you both.” Liam answers, extends his hand to shake Edward’s and pulls Darcy in for a quick hug. Sophia smiles and them.

“Don’t be a stranger.” She tells the both of them.

“Thank you.” Edward answers.

The two of them leave the flat, and Liam and Sophia watch them from the balcony as they get into Darcy’s car. They both look up and wave; and Liam and Sophia wave back before they head back into the house.

“They’re hiding something.” Edward says after they head back towards the Tomlinson’s.

“You feel that too?” Darcy asks.

“Sophia’s reaction when we asked what happened between my uncle and your father… that’s not a natural reaction.” Edward explains. “Do you think maybe…”

“What?” Darcy asks, driving towards Edward’s temporary accommodation.

“Your father and my uncle.” Edward says quietly, looking at Darcy, tilting his head. “They were lover?”

“But my father was married. He married my mother!”

“Though same sex relationship and marriage equality came into force round about that time, both of your parents are from respectable family, and might be frown upon?”

“My paternal grandmother is possibly the most open-minded on the face of this earth. She’s got seven kids and they have 3 different fathers between them. I don’t think a same sex relationship would freak her out completely.” Darcy answers. “And technically my dad isn’t a Tomlinson. His dad ditched him and my grandmother when he was little, and Tomlinson is the father of Aunt Lottie, Aunt Fiz, Aunty Daisy and Aunt Phoebe. She eventually married Grand-Dan, who is the father of Aunt Doris and Uncle Ernie. But my point is, I don’t know my real grandfather, I know dad kept in touch with his first step-father, because he was the father that bought him up and my dad seemed to get on well enough with him. I personally haven’t met him ever in my life. I mean, he inherited the business after all, and he kept the name. A as for Grand-Dan, he wouldn’t have cared. He married my grandmother when she has five kids already.”

“Okay. So you just gave me 2 generations of Tomlinson family history. What about your mother’s side?” Edward asks.

Darcy is gob-smacked.

She isn’t sure… because she doesn’t know.

She remembers her mother crying some nights.

 

_Maybe mummy knows something._

 

After dropping Edward home and promises to keep him in the loop if she finds anything (and vice versa), Darcy picks up the phone and calls her mother in France.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry lives 15 minutes’ walk from school, even with his slow speed.

Harry lives on the top floor of the apartment, a penthouse of some sort.

Louis knew Harry isn’t from a poor family, it’s a rather large chunk of money to come of the bank account every term, and the Styles have 2 kids studying in St. George’s.

Harry’s mum opens the door after she must have heard Harry approaching.

Harry’s mum is a beautiful woman.

Long dark hair, bright eyes and a warm smile.

“Hi…?” She says to Louis, a little shocked. “Come on in!”

 

_Never anybody visit Harry besides Liam, Sophia and Niall. And most of the time Niall is here because of Gemma._

“This is Louis.” Harry answers as Louis follows him into his home.

“Nice to meet you ma’am.” Louis answers.

“Please, call me Anne.” She smiles. “Make yourself at home!”

“It’s fine mum, he’d be gone in no time.” Harry answers and leads Louis to his room. “Wait here.”

Louis sits on his bed whilst Harry walks into his ensuite bathroom and comes out with a tube of arnica cream. Louis raises his jawbone towards Harry. Harry raises an eyebrow at him.

“I can’t do it myself, come on.” Louis demands.

“You’re so bossy.” Harry sighs, standing in front of Louis and towering over him. He grabs his face with one hand to stop him moving, and the other one gently rubbing in the arnica cream on his jaw.

Harry wants to count every single eye lashes on Louis’ lid.

Louis has beautiful blue eyes, like the sea.

Harry can smell Louis’ aftershave.

 

Louis suddenly understands why Liam called him a ‘frog’. When he concentrates, he opens his eyes even more than before, and his eyes look like as if they will pop out of the socket, and he sticks his tongue out.

Like a frog.

But Harry is beautiful.

Like he is sculpted to perfection, by an immortal, and his curly hair frames his face flawlessly.

 

When Harry eventually finishes, Louis was blushing like a tomato.

“What’s wrong with you?” Harry laughs.

“Nothing.” Louis says, turning his head as if he wants to see his surroundings. He suddenly focuses on a photo on his wall of the London skyline. “Where do you get that from?”

 

_It’s a beautiful photograph._

_A simple flower in the middle of it, each petal and each leaf has raindrops on them._

_The leaves are a vibrant green, and it contrasts the blood red of the flower._

_ _

Louis feels as if he was right there when the photo was taken.

As if he feels the rain blowing on his face, not hard enough for it to hurt, but the wind cuts into his skin.

“I took it.” Harry answers proudly. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

Louis just keeps staring at it.

The more he looks at it, the more he likes it.

“I love photography.” Harry continues and walks towards the photo, taking the frame down from the wall and hands it to Louis. “This was taken back in Holmes Chapel, where my family is originally from.”

Harry pulls open one of the drawers of the chest underneath the photo, and takes out 3 massive photo albums.

Louis starts flicking through them.

Even though he has no appreciation for photography, he is impressed by the sheer amount of photos taken.

Harry has taken photo of anything and everything that is possible.

Most of them are of nature – plants, animals, insects; but there are a few of skylines.

Each photo has a date and time on them, hand written underneath it.

The earliest photo was taken back in 2003.

Harry was only 9.

He has seven years’ worth of photos that he has taken.

Louis notices one very weird fact with the photo albums.

“How come there is only a photo for each date?” Louis asks, flipping through the albums, appreciating each photo individually.

“I tend to photograph only one thing at a time. I’d take many photos over and over again from different angle.” Harry answers as he sits down next to him. “And then I pick my favourite.”

“Hence there are only 3 photo albums… for the last seven years.” Harry nods. “Just one favourite?” Harry nods again. “But how many do you usually take?”

“Depends.” Harry says, pulling one album onto his lap and opens it. He runs his index finger on the page. “If I don’t feel like it, maybe a few; but if I am feeling that moment, usually about thirty or forty? If it’s skylines or views, I’d be there the whole day. Take them at different time at different lights. But if it’s say, a flower or something, I’d take them at different angles, and until I have no memories left I guess.”

Louis keeps his head down and listens to Harry whilst flicking through the photos. He has never seen Harry talk so much. He is very quiet in school, and only gives one word answers, or only answers what is asked.

Talking photography makes Harry confident. His eyes shine and his whole face lights up the moment anything photography is mentioned.

He knows the photos he takes are beautiful, but never once he shows it to anybody.

Louis is also shocked at how much of a perfectionist Harry is.

Just one photos from each photographing session.

Just one that goes into his photo album.

“Why don’t you delete them if you don’t like it?” Louis questions. “You’re using a digital camera anyway, isn’t that one of the reason digital camera is so useful?”

“Photography is a feeling that lives within me. When I stop and look at the photos, it feels like I’m breaking a train of thought, or a feeling. I don’t feel the same after looking at the photos I take during taking the photos.” Harry answers. “It’s not just taking photos, photography is like… trying to express your feeling through a camera and onto a photograph. You’re just picking out the photo that expresses yourself the most. There’s no reason to keep the photos that aren’t expressing yourself, is there?”

Louis realizes there is no grey area with Harry.

For Harry, it is either black or white.

There are other colours of course, but only in his photos. They are there to capture his feeling.

He spends his entire spare time and feeling on one thing only, and he builds his photography empire on that one special feeling.

Louis understands that feeling.

When he was little, he spent a whole weekend trying to perfect that one little move with a football.

To the point where he forgot to eat, until his mother called him back into the house.

Everybody thought he was just being stubborn, and to a certain degree, he was.

But when he used that move that he has practiced over and over again in a football match and scored, that feeling of being at the top of the world and being able to express his feeling to the crowd… there is no word to describe it.

Louis also starts to understand why Harry is so quiet at school.

He has the people that care for him and he cares for those people.

He understands the fact that he can’t have too much ups and downs.

It was easier to not react, than to put himself on an emotional rollercoaster.

And he has photography.

Harry has always been open in front of him. He lets Louis know exactly how he feels. He opens himself up like he does to Liam, to Niall, to Sophia and of course, to Gemma.

He even shares his deepest joy with him, and they haven’t known each other for too long.

“Let me know which ones you like, I’ll print them for you.” Harry smiles, flicking through the album that is sitting on Louis’ lap.

“I want that one.” Louis answers straight away, pointing at the one in the frame.

That photo is the first one he has ever seen of Harry’s, and it is the first photo he ever feels like he has a connection with.

“You like that one too?” Harry asked with a rather smug face. “That’s my favourite photo of everything I have taken.”

“Only because that is the only one that I think is on par.” Louis smirks. He couldn’t help it. Sass is in his blood.

“LOUIS TOMLINSON.” Harry pouts, reaching out to hit him, even though he knows deep down Louis is only joke.

“Gotta go.” Louis deadpans, flips his hair and stood up.

“Lou…” Harry grabs his wrist.

People say timing is everything.

So when Louis decided to turn and faces Harry, he definitely isn’t expecting Harry to stand up with his head tilts upwards.

Harry isn’t expecting Louis to bend down towards him either.

The right moment, Louis presses a solid kiss on Harry’s forehead.

They separate out of sheer body reaction.

Harry covers his forehead with his palms and looked at Louis.

As their eyes catch each other, they quickly looked away.

There is no exact timing when you realise you have fallen for someone.

It really is a matter of being at the right place at the right time with the right person.

“Did… did I hurt you?” Louis asks without thinking, and Harry can’t help but giggles.

 

_Lips. One of the softest parts of the body._

_His lips on my forehead._

 

Then Harry started to laugh out loud.

The smart and ever so sassy Louis, asking a stupid question.

Harry never expects that.

“You’re cute.” Harry laughs.

“What are you on about?” Louis asks again. “You really talk shit sometimes.”

 

***

 

Louis wants to punch himself on his way back home.

All he remembers is that kiss on Harry’s forehead.

 

_If I have leaned down a little bit more, maybe I would have gotten the soft part too?_


	7. Chapter 7

Edward has a gut feeling maybe after all the relationship between his uncle and Louis Tomlinson wasn’t a simple one.

He has the gut feeling the moment he found the photos of Louis.

Throughout the years he has spent with Harry, he understands how it works.

Harry only kept one photo of each session.

And yet, there was a whole selection of photos of Louis.

They show how important Louis was, to Harry.

He is fully aware where this story of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson might be going.

Edward decides to give Darcy some space for her to digest the whole situation.

After all, you wouldn’t expect your father might have loved another man when you come from a perfectly functional, ‘society-approved’ and highly respected family in England.

Maybe she will eventually catch up and they’d be on the same page again.

 

***

 

Darcy is sure she’s in what people called a depression phase.

She never expects the investigation turn towards the fact that maybe her father isn’t who he seemed to be.

Problem is, she doesn’t have the guts to actually find out the real story anymore.

What if her father and Jack McQueen are lovers?

She decides not to get in touch with Edward until she has sorted herself out.

She calls her mother and couldn’t help but bursts into tears.

She quickly hangs up after that.

 

Darcy wanders round the house and eventually heads into the room that once belonged to her parents.

She remembers her mother clearly said that she wanted to be the one to clear the room that belonged to them.

She enters the immaculate bedroom that once belonged to her parents. She knows the housekeeper cleans and dusts the room daily.

Her mother didn’t really clear the room – she just gathered her father’s possession and put them all in here. Never once it crosses her mind to come and look into this room.

This room belongs to her parents, even though one of them is living in California, and the other one passed away.

She walks up to the massive wardrobe on the left, next to the windows.

Her father’s side of the room.

The wardrobe is still full of all his father’s favourite clothes.

To the left, the shelves are covered with Adidas and Vans casual clothes, and even some designer T-shirts that Darcy has some memories of.

A full shelf of baseball caps, some suspenders and a few belts.

Every single one of his Burberry suits and trench coats hang proudly on the rail, every single pair of the custom made Churchill shoes line up at the bottom, with a few pairs of Vans that look old and scruffy.

There is a box hidden at the back of the wardrobe, behind the shoes.

Darcy takes the box out and laid it on her parents’ bed.

She debates about opening it, since it looks like something his father wanted to keep away from sight.

Deep down she feels like, the box holds some secrets.

It is a beautiful Burberry jewellery box.

The lid of the box feels heavy in her hand.

A selection of watches line the box, but only one ring with a solitude square cut black diamond in the middle.

Her father’s wedding ring, with her mother’s name engraved on the inside.

 

_Daddy stopped wearing it after mummy went back to California._

She flips the ring over, and ‘Cartier’ was engraved on the side.

There is a little box inside the box, and as she opens it, a plain Tiffany Green velvet bag sits in it.

The Heart.

It was the necklace her father always wears inside his shirts. It has a very long chain, long enough for the pendant to hang in the middle of his chest, close to his heart.

The pendant is heart shape and memories come flooding back.

Darcy remembers it used to weigh heavily in her hand when she was little.

Darcy remembers seeing it once or twice in passing, when her father wore a dressing gown, or when he picked her up a few times when she was little and crying.

Darcy remembers she once asked her father, ‘isn’t this a bit heavy? Does your neck hurt?’

Her father just smiled and patted her head.

 

_This necklace is probably older than me._

She carefully pulls out the necklace into her hand.

Of course it is Tiffany.

Only when the pendant sits in her palm she realizes it is not just a pendant.

It opens up into a locket and in there sits a simple platinum cross earring.

 

_Daddy never worn an earring. Why did daddy keep an earring in here?_

 

Darcy carefully removes the earring. It weighs close to nothing, but it seems to mean a lot more than the wedding ring that her father wore.

 

_Someone once said, jewellery is only a bunch of metal if it isn’t loved._

_The wedding ring would have been expensive; it is a personalized Cartier diamond ring._

_Sitting in the box it just looks cold and ruthless._

_The small earring was obviously loved. It feels warm and welcoming._

 

Darcy walks out of the room quickly, after putting everything away.

She doesn’t want to find anything more to shock her system.

Maybe it is enough for today.

She picks up the phone and dials Edwards’ number.

“Wha…?” Edward answers the phone just before Darcy is about to hang up. “It’s half past eleven in the evening.”

“Sorry. I… found something.” She says. “I can come to yours?”

“I’m coming over. Give me an hour.” Edward answers, and Darcy hears him getting out of bed.

 

***

 

“Uncle Harry has EXACTLY the same earring!” Edward shouts the moment he sees the earring, all trace of sleepiness gone. “The single platinum cross!”

“Are you sure?” Darcy asks, but her heart sinks.

 

_I don’t know why I feel upset about this, part of me was expecting it._

 

“Well not the same one, obviously; but I am sure it’s the same.” Edward answers. “Uncle Harry wears it all the time. His right ear.”

“All the time?” Darcy murmurs, pulling her legs up to her chest and curled up on the corner of the sofa.

 

_Thinking about it, no matter how hard I tried to get close to daddy, he always seemed a bit distant._

_He was the perfect CEO at work, walking the fine line between approachable, friendly and respectable._

_He was a perfect husband at home, always so caring and never once shouted at mummy, nor had he ever cheated on her._

_He was the perfect father, always there for all family events, took care of me when I was unhappy or sad, sick or upset._

_He was a good actor. He wore a mask and lived in the mask._

_Looking back now, he always seemed to be pretending._

_It’s just nobody knew about it, that’s all._

_Daddy locked himself away, deep down somewhere, the real ‘Louis Tomlinson’ just died with him._

_Daddy is always smiling. A smile that broke a million hearts – probably his own too._

_The smile that carried too much weight and too many hopes._

_He might have seemed to have the perfect life in everybody else’s eyes, but the truth is, he never had the life that he wanted._

_Daddy said all he wanted was me to live my own life and not to be someone else._

_It all made sense now._

_God know if the earring was the only thing that kept him going, kept him pretending to be someone that he isn’t._

 

“I found some stuff too, after we met up with Liam.” Edward adds, pulling out his iPad from his bag. “See that?”

Darcy looks at the screen on the iPad. It was a photo of Harry sitting at home, his eyes closed and his hands on his lap. He zooms into the photo and focuses on his left hand.

A single plain black ring with ridges on the edges, sitting on the ring finger on his right hand.

Edward opens another photo.

An official photo from an announcement at the Tomlinson business, where Louis was sitting at a desk, his hands folded on top of each other, on the table. His wedding ring glistened on his ring finger, but sitting snuggly on his right ring finger, on top of his left hand was a plain simple silver band with a ridge through the middle.

“That’s…” Darcy recognises that ring. The ring that his father has never taken off, always on his ring finger on his right.

Edward pulls out a third photo; this time from the web.

The background is white, a pair of rings sits on a Tiffany Blue surface.

One black, and one white.

“The limited edition ‘eternity and forever’ couple ring from Tiffany. Back in 2010.” Edward answers the unasked question. “One black-gold, one white-gold. There’s a two ridges on the black gold ring, and one single one through the middle on the white gold. They only sold 12 pairs in England.”

 

_Couple ring._

_Jack and daddy was a couple._

“Daddy never took the ring off.” Darcy chokes. “I was going to take it off when we buried him, but mummy said we should just leave it and that he didn’t take it off on their wedding day either.” She buries her head into her knees.

“Uncle Harry never took that off either.” Edward adds softly. “We put it in the urn with him.”

 

_There’s no denying that, daddy was in love with a man._

_What about me and mummy? Are we just people that he didn’t want in his life, but couldn’t avoid?_

_What about Harry? He was never married. He was someone that daddy wants but could never have._

She looks up to the chandelier that hangs from the high ceiling, hoping her tears will not fall.

But the truth is, Darcy and her mother were the ones that stayed with Louis all his life.

Edward isn’t quite sure how to react. He just sits next to her quietly whilst she lets all her frustrations out.

“Hey, you hungry?” Edward asks. Darcy looks up. “Is the kitchen stocked up?” Darcy nods again. “I’m gonna make you a midnight feast.”

“What can you make?” Darcy asks, standing up from the sofa.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” He smiles. “Lead the way. Take me to your kitchen.”

Darcy knows where the kitchen is, but she has no idea where anything is in the kitchen.

She did not expect to see two of her aunts sitting in the kitchen eating ice-cream.

“Darcy!” the blond one says, a little shocked. “You brought a boy to your family home and didn’t tell us anything?”

“In the middle of the night, no less!” The dark one exclaims as well.

“Edward, this is my Aunt Lottie.” Darcy points at the blond one. “The other one is Aunt Fiz. This is Edward. Edward Horan.”

“I know that name.” Fiz says. “Horan. Why do I know the name Horan?”

“Louis had a friend back in school. We met him a few times.” Lottie answers. “Horan too, I think. But he’s Irish.”

“Anyways, what are you two doing in the kitchen?”

“Edward said he’s going to make a midnight feast…?”

“That’s our clue to walk away.” Fiz smiles. “Have fun in the kitchen.”

“But I don’t know where anything is!” Darcy panics.

“The pantry is behind that door. I am sure you’ll find everything you need in there.” Lottie smiles and walks off with Fiz, ice-cream carton in both of their hands.

“What are you making?” Darcy asks as the two of them wanders into the large pantry.

Edward pulls out chicken, cheese and got Darcy to find the parma ham. Then he grabs some potatoes, finds the milk and asks Darcy to set the table in the living room.

“Set the table? It’s past midnight!”

“Midnight feast.” Edward says, putting heavy emphasis on the word ‘feast’. “It’s going to be one of those meals that you’ll never forget.”

About forty give minutes later, after Darcy consumed a glass of wine, Edward finally emerges from the kitchen and into the living area.

“Voila. Chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash.” Edward proudly holds the two plates in his hands.

Edward watches Darcy as she takes her first mouthful.

“Good?”

“Oh my god this is amazing. It tastes like home.” She mumbles with a mouthful of food. “And that took you pretty much close to no time.”

“This is Uncle Harry’s favourite dish.” Edward explains to her, also sits down and starts eating. “He doesn’t like to eat out, because he said it feels like you’re being rushed all the time. Because he used to be anorexic, and he’s got depression, the moment he wanted food, he has to have food. The Styles were so used to do it and my dad too. My dad was a pro at cooking and eating with him.”

Darcy feels the burn in her nose, and her eyes start stinging.

She tries to keep the tears from falling, but there is no use. She bends her head forward, hoping her hair will cover her face, but Edward sees a massive drop of tears falling from the tip of her nose onto the plate.

“Did I say something wrong?” Edward asks, moving his chair closer to her.

Darcy starts full on crying.

Edward wraps her up into his arms, and Darcy just cries and cries. Edward isn’t quite sure what to do, so he just let her cries all over his shoulder until eventually Darcy starts to hiccup, and moves herself away from him.

“Sorry.” She says, pulling some tissue from the table. “That hit a raw nerve.”

“Okay…?”

“My dad.” Darcy answers. “He can’t cook… but one thing he could do well was Chicken stuffed with mozzarella. With parma ham, and homemade mashed potato.”

 

_Daddy’s famous dish._

_Chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash._

_There were only a few times that she had it, that’s why it was engraved in her memory so well._

_He was always so busy, and only so many times he was actually home for dinner, even the weekends, let alone actually walking into a kitchen cooking._

“I remember exactly how many times daddy made me same meal for me. First time when I had my first break up at 15. Two years later when mummy left. That was two years ago.” Darcy adds.

_I remember how hard daddy concentrated when he was making dinner._

_Daddy wearing an old scruffy t-shirt, I remember seeing a lot of the tattoos on his arms._

_It’s a simple meal, but since daddy hardly ever cooked, it took forever for him to make it._

_Also he’d be so careful when he debone the chicken leg, because chicken breast was just not quite tender enough; the mozzarella has to be cut to the exact shape to be stuffed, the parma ham has to be the right length to wrap, the mashed potato needed to be at the right consistency and there couldn’t be any lump…_

_But there’s always a little smile that lingers on his face, just a little one – not a smile that I remember seeing much._

_Every time when I want to cry or when I am upset, daddy always said ‘I’m going to cook for you’._

_And he would just sit there opposite me and watched me eat the meal._

_Then he always asked, ‘Do you like it?’._

_I would nod fiercely, and he’d say ‘I knew it! I am the best cook EVER’._

_To be honest, the meal was great, but it was that SPECIFIC daddy that I liked the most._

_The one that has a little smile on his face._

_The smile that I’ll always remember – even though it’s getting hazy already._

_I finally understand how important this meal is to daddy. I never questioned it, and I never thought about it._

_It all makes sense now._

_Last time daddy made the meal when mummy left, I asked him why would he take forever and so much care to make a simple meal._

_Daddy said, ‘It was always a bit of a rush, when I eventually know I could make it properly, it was too late’._

_And he would frown. Not hard enough, but he was definitely frowning with a look of regret in his eyes._

_It’s like he’s finally opened the drawer that kept his most favourite memory, but he didn’t want to open it, in case they escape and he’d never see it again._

_Everything makes sense now._

_I understand the ‘it was too late’ too._

_Too late to make it for Harry._

_Harry must have loved Daddy’s dish._

_Or did Daddy learn how to make it just because it was Harry’s favourite dish?_


	8. Chapter 8

After Louis has been to Harry’s house, everything seems to have changed.

Louis starts sitting with Harry at lunch.

It starts when he moves to a closer table.

Niall eventually waves him over.

“You might as well sit with us.” Niall says, pointing on the chair next to him. Louis sits between Niall and Liam. “You know Liam and Gemma already of course; that’s Sophia. Liam’s girlfriend.”

“Hi.” She smiles.

“I’m Louis.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smirks.

The gang gets more and more friendly with each other, and eventually Louis asks the question that no one dares to ask when he sits next to Harry one day.

“Why don’t you finish your lunch?”

The whole table gasps.

Liam and Gemma look like they want to kill Harry.

Sophia isn’t quite sure how to react to it, and Niall kicks him under the table.

“Owww!” Louis shouts.

“I do finish my lunch.” Harry argues, something that none of them expected. “I just don’t like what comes with it.”

“So you’re a picky eater.” Louis says.

“I just know what I like and what I don’t.” Harry looks at Gemma, who smiles at him and nods.

“You shouldn’t waste food.” Louis adds, and Harry pushes his leftover onto his plates. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t like these.” Harry answers, then starts to pick out all the vegetables from Louis’ plate. “If you eat my leftovers, I’ll finish your vegetables for you.”

“I don’t need you to finish my vegetables for me.”

“I’ll even eat your fruits!” Harry smiles.

 

Louis never expects the doorbell to ring on a Saturday morning.

His mother is usually out shopping with his four little sisters, his two youngest siblings are with the nanny and his step-dad is usually out playing golf with the high and mighty.

He usually stays in bed until his bladder screams for help, or when his stomachs growls, whichever one decides to shout first.

When the housekeeper knocks on his bedroom, he is pretty sure whoever rings the doorbell is after him.

“Sir, sorry to disturb you on a Saturday morning, but there’s a Gemma Styles at the door for you.”

 

_Gemma?_

 

“Can you take her to the lounge and tell her I’d be with her in a sec.”

“Of course sir.”

Louis pulls on a pair of bare-threaded jogging bottoms and a hoodie.

Gemma doesn’t need to see him half naked.

Gemma sits on one of the sofas with a cup of tea in her hand when he walks into the lounge.

“Tomlinson. You live the luxury life.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Louis answers, sitting down opposite her. “How do you know where I live?”

“I am the president of the student body. I know a lot more than you think.” Gemma smirks.

“Do I dare guess why you’re here?”

“I’ll be gone in no time.” She smiles sweetly – too sweetly. “I am just here to send you a warning.” Louis looks at her. “You are aware of Harry’s situation. Niall told me he told you. You are aware of Harry’s emotional states. So far you’re doing a fantastic job, so you live. If you break my brother’s heart, you die. If you upset him, you die. If anything happens to my brother, you die. I know where you live, and I can make a homicide look like an accident.”

“Never doubt that.” Louis nods, swallowing hard.

Gemma can be very scary when she needs to be.

 

***

 

Gemma starts to spend more time with Niall after sending that warning to Louis.

Harry also spends more time with Louis, and Gemma is quite happy to let Harry accompany him home at the end of the day.

Liam is used to Sophia sitting on the side line watching him play football on some nights, and after Louis joins the football team, Harry joins Sophia and the two of them sit together until football practice is finished. 

“How come you never come and watch me playing football before?” Liam asks as he spots Harry sitting on the side with Sophia.

“Do you want me to watch you play football? I thought Soph would be enough for you.” Harry smirked.

Sometimes football practice ends really late.

And with the shorter days in winter, it gets really dark by the time they finish and have a shower.

Louis always walks Harry home first, and they would always take the route through Hyde Park in the dark. There are just enough lights for them to know where they are going. Louis wraps a comforting arm round Harry’s waist in the beginning. The hand rests on Harry’s lower back and eventually and starts to wonder.

Harry takes his hand and intertwines their fingers together to stop him.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Harry smirks. Louis just smiles like the cat that got the cream.

Harry’s parents and Gemma too, start to get used to having Louis around. He stays until late if his parents are at home, and if they aren’t, he would stay over at Harry’s.

A little bit of Louis moves in with Harry every time, and eventually Louis toothbrush, spare uniform and pyjamas become a fixture in Harry’s room.

 

***

 

“Louis.” Harry says, gently poking Louis’ back.

“Wha?” Louis mumbles and looks at his watch before turning over and face Harry, whose eyes are wide open. “It’s half past three in the morning.”

“I want Italian food.” Harry says, looking as if he is getting stressed about it.

 

_Spoil brat. It’s only Italian food. Why is he stressing out?_

“We’ll go tomorrow to your favourite place, yeah?” Louis says and turns back to the other side.

 

Harry was quiet, but Harry couldn’t keep still.

Louis knows Harry is still awake from his twisting and turning, and his twisting and turning is keeping him awake.

Louis wonders if it is acceptable to go and wake up Harry’s parents (definitely not Gemma – because she is scary).

Louis sighs and gets out of bed. Harry looks up at him with his massive Bambi eyes that looks like tears is about to fall.

“Come on, I’ll go and make you something. But I am warning you, I am hopeless.” Louis says and walks into the kitchen with Harry behind him.

 

_I don’t want to spoil him, I really don’t._

_But he’s stressing out about Italian food and if he’s stressing out, it means he’s not sleeping._

_And if he’s not sleeping then I wouldn’t be getting much sleep because he’d be moving all night._

_Therefore if I want to sleep tonight, I am better off to go and make him food._

The sight in the kitchen is hilarious, with Louis in a pink frilly apron, his eyes barely open and turns on the oven, pulling out whatever he can find in the fridge.

Chicken.

Mozzarella.

Parma ham.

Potato.

 

I takes Louis about an hour, and Harry is already sitting in front of the dining room table with his knife and fork.

“What took you so long?” Harry asks.

“What took me so long?” Louis repeats his question. “You want Italian food!”

“You didn’t have to make secondo, could have done with just a primo.” Harry answers. “There’s plenty of pasta in that cupboard.” He points at the cupboard right next to the fridge.

“Well I’ll know for next time.” Louis answers. “I don’t know what it tastes like, I have never cooked anything in my life before. I just saw this on TV and I thought it was easy enough to make.” Harry tastes a small mouthful of the chicken and then a mouthful of the potato. “So?”

“A bit like food from Weatherspoon’s. Generic.” Harry answers. Louis really wants to slap him. But Harry just carries on eating. “It’s not bad for someone who doesn’t cook.”

 

_Backhanded compliment?_

Either way, Harry looks less stressed, and Louis knows he’d have a good night sleep.

 

***

 

Louis starts to buy Italian cookbooks and starts to be really into making Italian food.

But every time he wants to make something new and get Harry to try it, Harry always says ‘but it takes so long’.

So Louis always ends up making the same dish.

Chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash.


	9. Chapter 9

Darcy’s mother flies into London after Darcy burst into tear on the phone to her a week ago. Darcy always though her parents has a very strange relationship.

They are a family, but they are distant.

 

_Daddy looked at mummy with warmth._

_And daddy always agreed with mummy no matter what._

_But there is no love – just ‘responsibility’._

Darcy grew up in a family where her parents are more like a working unit than a family. Briana loves Darcy to bits and spoils her; and so did Louis, but in a completely different way.

Darcy was 17 when Briana left her and Louis in London.

She said she missed California.

The sun and the warmth; but the truth is – she had enough.

She’s got someone else in California waiting for her.

Darcy HATED Briana when she left her and Louis behind.

But all Louis said it was his fault that Briana left and that Darcy shouldn’t be so harsh on her own mother.

Darcy thought ‘his fault’ meant he was focusing on business and never put enough time on her mother.

Now, she thinks she understands why.

 

_But does mummy know why?_

Darcy isn’t quite sure how to face her own mother. She sits on one sofa with Edward, and her mother sits on the single chair.

“Would you… tell me about you and daddy?” Darcy asks with a shaky voice. Briana tightens her grip of her mug, and Darcy freezes.

 

_Did I cross the line?_

“What do you want to know?” Briana asks, still calm as ever. Edward is intrigued. A forty-something year-old female has lost her husband recently, and yet there is no sign of sadness on her face. No tear strain, no puffy eyes.

Nothing.

“The marriage? How did you meet? How did you fall in love?” Darcy asks. “And why did you leave?”

Darcy believes her mother knows something – she couldn’t not know about Harry Styles.

Edward sees her face changed, a nanosecond of sadness before returning to her calm and content face.

“Louis. Never loved me.” Briana says with a sad smile.

 

_I could hardly be called an adult when she first met Louis. He was in his last year of school, I was in her first year of high school._

_I wanted to meet the one and only, and fell in love with all my heart and soul with this person and be with him forever._

_The “happily ever after” with a prince that every princess deserved._

_During the holidays, I travelled with her parents to England to visit some potential business partner._

_I just wanted to visit England because I have never been._

_That night, mummy and daddy insisted that I dressed in black-tie attire and that I was to be on my best behaviour._

_And there he was._

_Louis._

_He looked dapper and smart in a navy blue suit with black velvet collar; old enough to stand his own ground, young enough to have a good time._

_He took care of his little sisters (two of them), and of course the two family sat together at the banquet._

_Louis was a real gentleman._

_Whilst he took care of his sisters, he also spent time talking to me and compliment me on the dress and hairstyle._

_Louis was the perfect prince that I hoped for._

_When I got back to the hotel, mummy says that I would be engaged to Louis._

_Soon._

_I didn’t have any objections, she liked the idea of spending the rest of my life with Louis._

_The beautiful Louis, with a brilliant smile and warmth in his eyes._

 

“You father had the most beautiful smile.” Briana reminisces. “The first time I met him, that was the only time I have seen him smile from the depth of his heart.”

 

_Briana, being the naïve young girl that she was, with no experience in love, thought it was the best thing that ever happened._

_She believed that if they were destined to be married, they would also be destined to have the most beautiful relationship and marriage._

_It was only a matter of time when the world found out that only son in the Tomlinson family and the only daughter of Jungwirth Logistic business are engaged._

_The one single photo of Louis planting a kiss on my cheek was plastered over the newspapers and magazines._

“Our marriage was a conspiracy from the beginning.” Briana continues. “I moved to England and finished my high school education in a prestigious girl school. He would come and pick me up from school with his chauffeur, we’d go to the cinemas and have dinner out. Sometimes I’d eat with his family and sometimes he’d eat at mine, if my parents are in England. He’d do whatever I ask him to do and he’d be wherever I asked him to be. I thought he was just spoiling me back then. Now I know he just saw it as a responsibility. Then we went to separate universities and started to slowly take over the family business.”

 

_From the moment we met to the day we got married, we were together for seven years._

_And throughout the seven years, I didn’t notice anything wrong or there was any problems._

_I thought that was what love should be – one led the relationship, one followed._

_I thought Louis was just not a proactive person._

_Many times I have dropped hints that he could spend the night before we were married, but all he did is plant a quick kiss on my forehead and said ‘see you soon’ before he left._

_I thought Louis is just a very traditional guy and that his parents brought him up to respect female._

“You might think this is too much information, especially I know I wouldn’t like to hear my parents talk about it; but we only had sex once.” Briana says. She doesn’t like talking about it, because there is no romance in it. “The first night when we were on our honeymoon.”

“And then you got pregnant?” Darcy asks.

“Yes.” Briana nods. “After you were born, your father decided that he doesn’t want any more kids.”

 

_It was obvious Louis loved Darcy the moment she was born. His eyes twinkle when he looks at her and he would spend all his free with Darcy if he could._

“I didn’t mind; most of my time was spent on you anyway, and I didn’t really think much of it. But when you started to grow up and I wasn’t spending nearly as much time as I needed to on you, I realised my relationship with your father was practically non-existent, and you’re the only thing that was holding us together.”

 

_It was when I got older I realised my relationship with Louis was not normal._

_It wasn’t a relationship of two people who are in love and married._

_It was clear that Louis loved her, but not in a romantic way._

_At one point I thought he was having an affair, but I couldn’t find anything._

_I asked Louis many times ‘do you love me’._

_Every time, Louis always hugged me tighter and called me an ‘idiot’ with a smile on his face._

_He never gave her a straightforward answer._

_It hurt, but I didn’t know how to explain what the pain was._

_It was only when I finally met Steve, I know what I have been missing._

“Steve showed me real love and passion.” Briana says, her cheeks slightly blushing. “Something that I never experienced before. He taught me it takes two people to make sure a relationship work out. I’ve always led the relationship with your father, and I realised how mental exhausted that is, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

 

_I experienced everything with Steve that I should have experienced with Louis._

_Louis didn’t blame me at all when I told him I was having an affair._

_Louis wasn’t upset and Louis wasn’t angry._

“I remembered when I told your father about Steve, and he just sighed, as if he’s been released from a prison that he’s been in for god knows how many years.” Briana says. “He said ‘whatever makes you happy; live the life you want to live’. Then he just carried on really, going to work, eat, sleep.”

 

_It was then when I realised, Louis never loved me._

_I was a responsibility._

_So I left and moved back to California._

_Where my life was, where my friends are and most of all, where Steve wants to live._

_Unfortunately they couldn’t get a divorce, in fear that it might damage the name of the business, and also triggers decline in market shares._

_And Louis wanted to hand over the perfect company to Darcy._

_The world was told that I was returning to California where I was from, due to family emergency; Louis has to keep the business going and Darcy was still in school, so they were staying in England._

“So you never understand why daddy never loved you?” Darcy asks. How could someone be in a marriage for 20 odd years and doesn’t know?

Darcy suddenly feels sorry for her mother.

“Nope. Never. Maybe he loves someone else, but I don’t know – I have never sense anything, and we all know female intuition is pretty accurate.”

“Do you know who he is?” Darcy asks, handing a photo of Jack over to his mother.

“I recognise the hair.” She answers. “I might have met him before, I think?”

“You’ve met him?” Both Darcy and Edward scream.

“Possibly? One of Louis’ parties, I think?” Briana answers. “Louis invited me, but he was busy being the host that evening so I didn’t get to talk to him much. He disappeared upstairs with him half way through the party and didn’t really see them afterwards. I got a quick glance at him when they were walking up the stairs. He was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. I didn’t think much afterwards, Louis always seemed to have friends staying over anyway. Is he someone important?” Briana realises halfway through that there is something behind the story of the photo. She doesn’t realise the man in the photo has an impact on her marriage.

“This is Jack McQueen.” Darcy answers.

“This is Jack McQueen?” Briana asks, shocked. “Your father’s favourite photographer?” Darcy nods.

“And daddy’s lover.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Harry’s birthday is in the middle of winter.

First of February.

Louis was also born in the middle of winter.

The day before Christmas.

Harry doesn’t like the cold.

Louis loves the cold.

“Keep me warm?” Harry says every time as he put his cold hands inside Louis’ t-shirt when they are in bed.

“Jesus! Are you trying to freeze me to death with those paws?” Louis jumps and asks every time, but he just wraps up Harry tighter and share the body heat until both of them are toasty warm.

 

“Hey, wanna come over to mine this weekend?” Louis asks as he curls up on Harry’s bed and Harry trying to finish his homework.

“Why?” Harry asks.

 

_He couldn’t have forgotten his own birthday, right?_

Louis ignores him.

“I’m turning 18 this weekend.” Harry says, flicking through his diary.

“My family is hosting a party on Saturday. We can celebrate your birthday.”

 

_Nope. Not an option._

_This is compulsory._

_You, Harry Edwards Styles, have to come to my house this weekend for the party._

“Fine. What time?”

“Six?”

“Okay.”

 

***

 

When the clock strikes midnight, Harry’s phone beeps at him, indicating a text message.

 

Happy birthday my love. <hearts>

 

From Louis.

Harry presses his hands over his face, feeling the blush that is rushing from his neck upwards. He wants to call Louis to say thank you, but he ends up falling asleep, curls around the phone with the message still on the screen.

Harry wants to wake up and see Louis first thing on his birthday too, but because it is his eighteenth birthday, his parents and Gemma have decided to spend the day with him (as they know Louis has invited Harry to his place in the evening.

 

***

 

Louis stands close enough to the front door from quarter to six onwards. He told his parents he wants to throw a party for his friends’ birthday. His parents host a birthday party of Louis’ friend.

It might have been called a birthday party, but it is very much Louis’ parents inviting all their friends and business partners, a night for adults to socialise and connect with other potential business partners.

No one cares as long as there is free food, and potential new business partners.

All his parents’ guests are arriving from half past five, and he just looks like perfect first born, greeting everyone that walks through the door.

Nobody needs to know he is just waiting for Harry to arrive.

People can assume whatever they want.

Six o’clock.

There is still no sign of Harry.

Quarter past six.

Just as Louis is going to call him, his phone rings.

Harry.

“Lou? I am going to be late.” Harry says desperately.

“What? Why? Where are you?”

 

_Spoil little thing. This is my doing – I never care how much time he takes when we’d go somewhere, because time is something we can spare, and it’s become a really bad habit that he doesn’t keep time anymore._

_But this is his birthday party! How can he be late for his birthday party?_

 

“I’m still at home. I promise I won’t be too late! I am on my way, I promise.” Harry mumbles, but never gives Louis a reason.

“Okay. I’ll wait for you.” Louis answers. He really wants to tell Harry to hurry, but he knows Harry. Niall has also explains it to him. The moment you make him rush, he starts to panic, and when he panics he’ll get anxious and when he get anxious he might get a full blown anxiety attack.

 

Seven o’clock.

There is still no sign of Harry.

“Fuck, are you coming or not Harry Styles?” Louis says down the phone, but keeping his voice quite low in case he scares his parent’s friends and business partners.

“I am on my way, shouldn’t be too long.” Harry answers breathlessly.

 

_He’s not walking here, is he?_

_Because that is a hell of a long way._

It was already nearly eight when Harry gets here. Louis is definitely not impressed, and it shows on his face. But Harry isn’t looking much better either. Whilst Louis is angry and his face is heated, Harry is pale, which just makes his green eyes pop even more.

Louis makes sure no one is watching him and that everybody is busy talking (the men are talking business, and the women are talking the latest fashion trend), he takes hold of Harry’s hand and heads towards his room.

Harry is pale, but he is smiling, though he looks completely knackered. Louis sighs, wraps one of his arms round his waist and the other hand holds onto his hip bone.

“Are you okay? You are looking really pale.” Louis asks, handing a glass of juice over to him.

“Nothing wrong, not that I know of anyway.” Harry answers as he falls onto Louis’ sofa in his bedroom.

“So why are you late?” Louis asks gently and looks right into Harry’s eye to tell him he isn’t angry, and he’s more concerned for his wellbeing. Harry just isn’t quite sure how to answer him. He doesn’t want to tell Louis the truth, but he can’t fabricate a lie that makes sense there and then. “Say it.” Louis says to him. He knows Harry, and Harry doesn’t know how to tell lies. He’d rather not say anything, but he always has this ‘constipated’ face when he’s holding back information or when he tries to lie.

“I celebrate my birthday with my parents and Gem and we had cakes just before I was about to leave the house. Only I got really clumsy and drop the cake all over my clothes, and I already got into my tux already so I have to find another one, and then it turned out that my other tux hasn’t been worn for a while and I outgrew it. So mum had to take it to the dry cleaners to get it washed straight away. Then the lift for some very odd reason broke and they have been trying to fix it. The engineers said it would only take an hour, but by the time my taxi calls me and told me he’s waiting, the engineer is still fixing the lift and it has been over three hours already. So I came down the stairs.”

 

_Louis feels really bad._

_Harry doesn’t like to rush and Harry doesn’t like stairs._

_He lives on the top floor. It would have taken him forever to get down those stairs._

 

“You could have just told me! I wouldn’t mind if you can’t make it!” Louis says angrily.

“If I have told you the truth you would have definitely told me not to come.” Harry answers, biting his lips. “Don’t be angry, I am here now, aren’t I? And it’s my birthday still.”

“I am more angry at myself for not insisting myself to ask you what happened.” Louis says.

“Where’s my present?” Harry asks, trying to change the subject.

“Oh yeah.” Louis says, turning around to his bedside table and pulls out a box.

A tiny single white gold crucifix earring sits in the box.

“I thought earrings comes in pair?” Harry asks. Louis shows Harry his left ear.

A single solitude white gold crucifix sits on his earlobe.

Harry isn’t quite sure if he should laugh or cry.

 

_Half a present?_

“One each. A promise.” Louis says and takes out the earring from the box, signalling Harry to get closer so he can put the earring on him. Harry obeys, moves closer and turns the side of his face towards Louis.

Louis is mesmerised by Harry’s jaw bone. He quickly shakes his head and focuses on the task at hand. He carefully puts the earring on Harry’s earlobe and presses a quick kiss to his temple.

 

_Special happiness._

 

This is the first time Harry’s ever been to Louis’ house.

Louis lives quite a way from school, and with Harry’s speed, it can take practically forever for him to get there and back.

Also, Harry doesn’t bode well when it comes to unfamiliar surroundings, it makes him anxious and nervous.

With quite a few kids (4 sisters) in the house who would be very noisy about Louis bringing a friend from school, as well as a good bunch of house staff that appear and disappear from nowhere, Louis’ home hasn’t exactly got the most comfortable atmosphere for Harry.

Louis’ room is warm with ivory walls, a low bed, built-in wardrobes, lots of posters and masses amount of electronics scatters all over the room.

Teenage boys’ heaven.

The two of them are playing on the PlayStation when Louis mentions to Harry that he should stay overnight.

“Don’t think that’s a good idea.” Harry answers.

“Why? Your lift is probably not fixed yet.”

It’s not that Harry doesn’t want to stay over, he just doesn’t feel safe without all his medications (he’s got some with him of course), and he really doesn’t like unfamiliar surroundings.

“I am very clumsy and you don’t have anti-slip mats in the bathroom.” Harry says. “And you know what I am like, I’ll be really anxious in a surrounding that I am not familiar with.”

“But I am here.” Louis argues. “I’ll stay with you like… all the time. Even in the bathroom to make sure you won’t fall over or something.”

“If the lift isn’t fixed, I’ll stay.” Harry eventually answers. “And if my parents and Gem also agree.”

 

_Leave it to fate._

“Hi Gem, it’s Louis.” Louis says down the phone with Harry staring intensely at him.

“What do you want?” Gemma asks. Even though they are on good terms now, she is still very much full of spikes and very defensive.

“Is the lift fixed at your place yet?”

“No. The engineers are still on it. Why?”

“It’s getting late and I was just wondering if you and your parents are okay with Harry staying over.” Louis says. “And with the lift still out, I thought it’d be easier and I can drop him off tomorrow morning.” There is a lot of rattling in the background and a lot of shouting from Gemma.

“Hi Louis? It’s Anne.”

“Hi Anne.” Louis answers politely.

“Are you sure it’s okay for Harry to stay over?” Anne asks cautiously.

“Of course!” Louis says. “And I promise I’ll bring him back first thing in the morning.”

“Harry’s never stayed overnight at anybody’s house before.” Anne says. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“It’s not a problem really.” Louis says. “I’ll take him home straightaway if there’s any problem. I thought it’d be easier if he stays because the lift hasn’t been fixed yet, and I’m just worried since Harry doesn’t really like stairs.”

“I guess…” Anne says. “Alright. Thank you for having him.”

“My pleasure.” Louis answers and hangs up. “Sorted.”

 

***

 

Harry wraps a towel round his waist and climbs into the bathtub carefully with Louis holding onto him tight. He pulls the bathtub screen and watches him from the side.

“I’ll give you a shout when I finished.” Harry says from behind the screen. “You are making me very nervous.”

“I don’t know why you’re being shy about this. Whatever you have, I have too – it’s just if I’ve got more.” Louis says.

“What, you?” Harry laughs. “You wish.”

“Wanna check?”

“I won’t fall for THAT trick!” Harry says, finally sheds the towel round his waist and he can feel his face heating up. He faces the wall and the shower head, and hope Louis isn’t watching him.

Louis can’t take his eyes off Harry.

Maybe it is the steam in the bathroom, maybe Louis’ eyes are getting foggy, but Harry looks beautiful, as if he has been handcrafted by a God. Every part of him is chiseled to perfection, and as the water cascade down his curls, his body and his arms, his legs, Louis feels a tint of jealousy and wants to be the one feeling every single inch of Harry’s smooth white skin.

Then he realises how unreasonable his brain is.

And how illogical.

Louis can run his hands all over Harry.

Louis can just climb into the bathtub.

So he does what his brain tells him to do.

He takes off his clothes quietly and climbs in the bathtub behind Harry and rests both of his hands on his hipbone. Harry jumps, and luckily Louis’ hands are there to steady him and Harry falls into Louis’ arms.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, turning and lifting his head slightly to look at Louis. Louis turns him around carefully, his hands still on Harry’s hipbone and Harry rests his hands on Louis’ shoulder.

“I just want to hold you.”

“Not here…” Harry whispers, his lips red from the heat, but all Louis wants is to hold him. Louis pulls him closer, his hands wanders round his hipbones, and Harry extends his arms and wraps it round Louis’ shoulder. Louis takes it as a sign, and presses his lips on Harry’s. Harry quietly moans, and just as Louis wants to move away, thinking Harry isn’t comfortable with the kiss, he takes Louis’ bottom lip with his teeth and kisses him again. Louis reaches further down Harry’s back, and runs a finger down the crack, and Harry moans again. He circles the finger round the tight muscles, but Harry pulls back from his kiss and starts biting his lower lip.

That’s Harry telling Louis he’s not comfortable. Louis quickly removes his fingers, and presses a kiss on Harry’s forehead. Louis quickly gets out of the bathtub, pulls a towel for himself before wrapping a towel round Harry. He carefully helps Harry out of the tub, and walks back towards the bed, where both of them fall onto the soft fluffy mattress. Harry pulls his towel off before he takes Louis’ towel off, tucks himself into Louis like a little spoon.

“How knows a shower can be so tiring?” Harry mumbles through a yawn.

“Sleep.” Louis says, pressing a kiss on the back of Harry’s neck.

“You’re digging into my back.” Harry says, wiggles back and Louis moans. Harry adjusts himself so Louis’ hard-on rest on his crack. “No funny business.”

“You’re not helping.” Louis says, sounding completely defeated.


	11. Chapter 11

_Lover._

Briana realises why her marriage failed.

Love is a battlefield.

But she was never part of that war.

 

_It’s been 36 years since our engagement._

_And nine years since I knew Louis didn’t love me._

_It doesn’t hurt anymore._

_The tears I cried were for myself, but maybe, just a maybe; some tears were for Louis because I knew there was someone else._

_For the last 36 years, Louis has been carrying the weight of the world of regrets on his shoulders. I never once questioned the way the Louis behaved._

_I always thought I was the victim, and I thought Louis was the victim when I ran away._

_It turned out, there was someone else._

_Harry._

_Maybe Louis didn’t love me, but at least I lived with Louis, and was with Louis nearly every day, for over thirty years._

_It might not be perfect, but it was real._

_I wasn’t alone in my adulthood – I had Louis’ warmth in my hands when I was cold, Louis’ hugs when I was upset and I had Louis (Even though I might have been lonely)._

_And Louis never did anything that to me, or anything to shame me._

_He gave me everything, except love._

_Harry never had anything. He was alone in New York, knowing exactly where the person he loved the most, but could never be with him._

_Harry never stopped loving Louis, he lived in the past, and spend time taking photos of present, to remind him of the past._

_Harry probably wanted to be Jack McQueen, because if he became Jack McQueen, he’d be able to stay with Louis._

“There’s something else I know about Jack McQueen.” Briana says with a smile gently wiping her tears away.

“My uncle?” Edward asks, but Briana shakes her head.

“Jack McQueen was a name of a dog.” Briana says. “Louis used to have a dog, a tiny little toy poodle with dark curls. His name is Jack McQueen.”

 

_First time I walked into Louis’ room, there’s a dark curly-headed toy poodle in the middle of Louis’ king size bed._

_“Jack…” Louis had said, picked it up with ease and pressed a kiss on the top of his head before rubbing his nose all over the back of his neck. “This is Jack McQueen.” Louis said to Briana. “My little prince.”_

“Jack is possibly the most spoilt dog that I have ever known.” Briana says with a smile on her face. “Louis would let him do anything and everything. Jack could chew through all his favourite shoes, rub his slobber all over his favourite clothes and take up the whole bed when he’s asleep. I have never heard Louis raised his voice at Jack.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “When we were dating, he’d always be home by ten because that’s why Jack sleeps. Jack would whine if he doesn’t see Louis before bedtime, like a little child. Louis always always took care of Jack and I always thought he treated Jack more like a human than a pet. Like he was close family, even closer than your aunt Lottie; and we know the two of them are always the partner-in-crime.” Briana looks at Darcy and smiles. “You know, the way he called ‘Darcy’ is like the way he called ‘Jack’, it was full of love and care.”

“What happened to Jack?” Edward asks.

“Louis let Jack out on the second floor balcony one day.” Briana says. “He just turned around to grab his bowl of water and Jack fell from the second floor.” Darcy takes a sharp breath and covers her mouth. “Louis was in tears for days. We have been together for about four years by then; and I have never seen him so depressed. He’d catch sight of something of Jack’s, and he’d be tears again, as if a very important part of him has died with Jack. Back then I thought ‘wow if a man can love a pet so much, I can trust myself with him’. Now it just seemed like a stupid thought. After he calmed down a few months later, I asked if he wanted another dog. He said no very swiftly, and said he doesn’t want the heartbreak anymore.”


	12. Chapter 12

Louis and Harry wander into Harrods on one of those rainy days in London.

It’s warm, it’s got lots of things to look at, and there are parts of Harrods that are more like a maze than anything else and there is always something to discover mainly because they refuse to use the map that lines up neatly on the walls.

So when they randomly stumble into the animal kingdom, the two of them are squealing and dancing like they are completely mental.

“Lou, look at him!” Harry shouts, waving at Louis who is on the other end of the room, attempting to talk to a parrot. Harry is scratching a puppy with dark curly fur, roughly the size of their hands. The little puppy finally reaches out with his eyes close, blindly looking for Harry’s hand and starts nibbling on his finger tips and makes him giggle.

“How do you know it’s a he?” Louis asks as he approaches Harry. “He looks just like you.”

“No he doesn’t!”

“Dark curls? I think he does.” Louis smirks. “Excuse me.” He says and one of the attendants walks briskly towards Louis.

“May I help you sir?” He asks.

“Can we see the little puppy?” Louis asks.

“Certainly sir.” He answers and walks into the room and picks up the dark puppy with ease and hands it to Harry. 

“He’s so cute!” Harry answers, cradling him in his arms. “He is so so cute!”

“He’s so small.” Louis exclaims and starts stroking the little puppy.

“He is one of five.” The attendant starts. “He is the littlest one, and we were worried if he would be squished to death or he might not be fed so we have to bring it out in isolation.”

“The poor little thing.” Harry says, lifting the dog closer to his face because turning his head towards Louis with the dog. Louis glances at the price.

 

_I can afford that._

“We can keep him if you want?” Louis says, but Harry shakes his head.

“Mum said ‘you and your sister are hard enough to take care of, I don’t need another child in the house’.” Harry says in his mother’s (pretended) voice. Louis wants to laugh – his impersonation is pretty accurate.

“Well I can’t say much about Gemma because she’s scary at hell; but she isn’t too far from the truth about you being hard to take care of.” Louis smirks. “But we can keep him with me? I mean, I’ve got plenty of space at home, and I am sure Lottie and Fiz will be happy to have a puppy at home. I know Daisy and Phoebe will love it.”

Harry wraps the puppy into his hoodie, and Louis carries all the accessories through the rain and wander back to Louis’.

“What are we going to call him?” Louis asks.

“He’s definitely a ‘Styles’.” Harry says.

“I don’t think so.” Louis answers. “He’s a ‘Tomlinson’ because you’re a ‘Tomlinson’ and that’s final. Both of you belong to me.” Harry blushes. “I want to call him ‘Jack’. Like… Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. My favourite dark head.”

“What about ‘Jack McQueen’?” Harry asks. “McQueen is my favourite designer, and counting he can’t be a ‘Styles’, he can have a ‘stylish’ name. Jack McQueen Tomlinson.”

“Jack McQueen Tomlinson.” Louis repeats. “I like it.”

“Do you like it?” Harry asks the puppy in his arms. “Do you like your name?” The puppy rubs his face on Harry’s chest. “I think he likes it.”

“Well, I don’t think he’s got a choice.”

 

***

 

Harry doesn’t like going to crowded places, so besides going to school and going to football matches (with Sophia to watch Louis and Liam play), he’s either at home or at Louis’. But now that they have Jack, Harry is always wanting to take Jack to the park or go for walks on the outskirt of London.

“Seriously. Jack and you are like twin.” Louis moans as they are sitting in the park. “He’s picky about food, throws tantrums when he’s not happy, ignores you when he’s angry and always looks at you with those cute big eyes when he wants something.”

 

***

 

Gemma has gone on a short holiday with her school friends during the summer.

Robin has to travel to Australia to see one of his clients and Anne wants to go with him but she doesn’t want to leave Harry alone at home, in case something happens to him.

“Mum, I’ll be fine.” Harry says during dinner when Louis is around and they are discussing the whole trip again. “I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

“I know. But I am always worried about you because you’re my baby.” Anne says.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Robin asks.

“Because I’d like a summer that is hot and not freezing my nuts off.” Harry says and Robin laughs. “You know, very important.”

“I see your point kid.” Robin answers and fist-pumps with Harry.

“But it’d be fresh air out there, and you’d be able to go away from London, and take some beautiful photos.” Anne says. Harry still says no.

“Anne, if you’re worried, maybe Harry can come and stay with me? I am planning to run away from my family for two week in Doncaster so I can bring Harry with me.”

“Are you sure?” Anne asks. “He’s a nightmare to take care of.”

“I am sure I’ll be fine.” Louis answers. “We can take Jack too, and there’s plenty of space to run around. The cottage is in the countryside so there’d be fresh air and I am sure there are places that Harry can take lots of photos of.”

“But the journey is quite long…” Anne says.

“I’ll get one of Dan’s chauffeurs to drive us up there.” Louis says. “We can make stops in between and make it like a road trip.”

“I’d like that.” Harry says.

“Alright then.” Anne sighs, knowing once Harry makes up his mind there is no way he’d change it.

 

***

 

“This is beautiful.” Harry says as the two of them gets to the top of a trail that overlooks a good part of Doncaster. Harry’s got a backpack full of his camera bits, and Louis is carrying their picnic. The two of them shed their backpack and lie down on the green. “The sky is so blue.” Harry reaches out and blindly pulls on his backpack and grabs his camera out before lifting it to his eyes. Louis turns and rests his head on his palm to look at Harry, who is completely content and focus on the beauty of the surroundings. Eventually he puts his camera down and turns his head to look at Louis. “Have you been watching me?”

“Maybe.” Louis answers. Harry reaches out to pull on Louis unexpectedly, and Louis nearly falls onto of Harry, but he catches himself before he is about to crush Harry. “You know, this is a bit too close to take photos.”

“I know.” Harry smiles, lifting his head and plants a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for taking me here.”

Louis blushes. He has always been the one that initiate any intimate gesture, and he definitely isn’t expecting Harry to be pro-active. Just as he is about to press another kiss on Harry’s red and swollen lips, his stomach growls. Harry laughs, and he sighs. “Lunch?”

 

Harry carries on with his camera after lunch whilst Louis takes a nap in the sun.

Maybe calling it a nap isn’t exactly the most accurate thing because he just dozes on and off, in case Harry wants anything or if Harry’s falls over a branch, or if Harry trips over his own feet.

It was when the sun is setting and it was started to get dark, Louis realises the shuttle sound has stopped.

“Finished?” Louis asks at Harry sits down next to him.

“Yeah.” Harry answers. “I got some really nice photos of the sky. It was purple and pink… mainly purple.”

“Purple?” Louis says, raising at eyebrows and Harry nods enthusiastically. “Let’s get home before it gets too dark.”

 

***

 

They pick up some food on their way home (‘it’s not just food – it’s M&S food’) for dinner because neither of them are that great at cooking, and they’d rather not burn the cottage down. Harry has a shower after dinner whilst Louis cleans up. When Harry finishes, he stays in the bedroom with his camera looking at the photos he took earlier. Louis makes sure he is comfortable and double checking to make sure he knows exactly where everything is.

Not that it matters, because Louis doesn’t usually take too long in the shower.

Louis emerges from the bathroom with a pair of shorts, a white fluffy towel round his neck and drying his hair.

Then he hears the familiar sound of a camera shutter.

When he looks up, he hears the sound again.

Harry is sitting on floor in his jeans and a white t-shirt, pointing the camera at him.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Louis takes two strides towards Harry and reaches out for the camera, but Harry quickly cradles it as if it’s a little baby.

“Gimme.”

“No.”

“I want to see!”

“No.”

“I never give you permission to take photos of me.”

“So? Sue me.”

“I look stupid when I was drying my hair.”

“I object to that.”

“Then show me!”

“If you sit probably, I’ll take some nice photos of you.”

“I need them to be perfect though.”

“But are you?”

“Fook off.”

Harry asks Louis to sit on the bed, and with the white wall and the white backdrop, Louis stands out with his shorts and his ocean-blue eyes contrasts his honey-coloured skin.

“Hold on. You hair is in the way. Can you just run your hand through it so it looks tussled?” Louis runs his hand through it and gives it a shake. “I’m not sure if I like the way your feet looks… can you tuck them in?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my feet.” Louis scowls.

“Are you sure you don’t want to put on a pair of jogging bottoms? Your legs look a bit scrawny.” Harry asks. “They are looking a bit like chicken legs.”

“Do you want to take the photos or not?” Louis asks angrily.

“I don’t usually do life models and you’re my first one. Of course I want to take the perfect photo. I have a very high standard.” Harry says, lifting his eyes from the camera.

“Yeah well I can’t help my ‘scrawny chicken legs’.” Louis answers. “Deal with it.”

“Fine. Stay where you are. Give me a smile.” Harry says. “And one, two…”

Click.

Louis moves to another pose.

Click.

Click.

“My turn.” Louis says, signalling Harry to give him  the camera.

“You have no idea what you’re doing.”

“You didn’t before, I just have to learn.” Louis says, stands up and takes the camera from Harry’s hands.

Harry always wears a headscarf when he takes photos. He says it pushes his hair off his face and he can see better.

Louis just starts pointing at Harry and start pressing the shutter.

He is bounded to get something if he takes enough photos.

 

***

 

By the time they finish, they are both tired, having spent the day in the sun and an evening taking photos and posing. Louis tucks Harry into bed, and turns off the lights.

“Night Lou.” Harry says.

 “Night.” Louis answers. Louis feels the bed moves and Harry tucks himself into Louis’ arms and plants a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for today.” Harry says. “Thank you for having me.”

“Then you should have me too.” Louis joked.

“Okay.” Harry answers.

Louis isn’t sure what Harry means by that. Harry reaches out and removes his pyjamas, and reaches out to pull off Louis’ too.

“Are you sure about this?” Louis asks quietly. Louis sees Harry’s face shining in the moonlight and he nods. Louis grabs Harry and rolls him underneath and starts planting kissing down his neck and his chest.

“Lou…” Harry moans the moment Louis starts licking and kissing down Harry’s torso.

“Relax and breathe my love.” Louis whispers against his skin before moving down, heading towards his destination.

Harry gasps when he feels a warmth and wetness round him.

“Oh my god Lou.” Harry moans again. “I don’t think I’ll last.”

“We’ve got all night. Don’t hold back on me now.” Louis says between licks and kisses before wrapping his hand round Harry’s shaft and sucking on the tip and within seconds he squirts into Louis’ mouth.

“I want to try it.” Harry says, still sounding completely dazes as he sits up. His body flushes slight pink in the moon light and he reaches out to kiss Louis before pushing him onto the bed. Harry climbs over Louis and leans down to wrap Louis in his mouth.

Harry is concentrating on making sure Louis feels good just as he did when he feels a warm gooey finger running up and down his crack and circling his hole.

 

_It’s okay._

_It’s only Louis._

_It’ll be fine._

He ignores it, and focuses back on Louis, bobbing his head up and down and swirling his tongue round the head. Louis slowly slides his finger in. Harry moans with his mouth wraps round Louis.

The buzz feels amazing. Louis has to physically stop everything to control himself in case he scares Harry.

“Feels okay?” Louis asks. Harry hums again and Louis tries not to explode into Harry’s mouth. “Stop doing that, I don’t want to choke you.”

Louis pumps his finger in and out of Harry and eventually slides in another finger.

“Still feels okay?” Louis asks again, but Harry ignores him. Instead, he focuses at his task at hand. Louis takes that as a good sign and carries on. One of his finger glazes on a slightly different part on the inside, and Harry sinks down and moans.

Louis definitely isn’t expecting that and shoots down Harry’s throat.

“Oh my god are you okay?” Louis quickly pulls off Harry and asks. Harry nods, his lips red and cheeks flushes.

“I didn’t expect that to happen.” He answers. Louis pulls him into his arms and kisses him.

“You are amazing.” Louis answers. Harry sits up onto Louis’ torso and slowly shifts backwards. “We can stop if you want.” He shakes his head.

“I want it.” Harry says and lifts himself up. Louis gently guide Harry on top of him and Harry slowly sinks down, biting onto his bottom lip to stop himself from screaming.

The initial stretch is painful.

Louis keeps himself very still, letting Harry goes at his own pace whilst touching and stroking Harry’s body, hoping to distract him from the pain.

It feels like forever until Harry has completely engulfed Louis.

“How does it feel?” Louis asks, stroking Harry’s thighs.

“Fuller than I thought.” Harry answers as he gives a tentative wiggle. Both of the moans at the amazing feeling. Harry experimentally lifts himself up a little and sinks back down.

“Oh my god H…” Louis says. “Oh my god.”

“Lou…” Harry whimpers, lifting himself more and more, and sinking down further and further. “Oh my god Lou…”

Each time Harry lifts himself up, Louis pulls back a little and only just about to keep the tip inside of Harry. When Harry sinks back down, Louis thrusts. The two of them move rhythmically, to the music only they can hear. Louis sits up and wraps Harry round his arms, resting their heads on each other’s shoulder, breathing into each other’s ear.

“Hold on tight.” Luis suddenly says, and Harry only have enough time to put his arms round Loui’s neck before he flips both of them round, Harry lying on the bed with Louis above him, still inside. He lifts up one of Harry’s legs over his shoulder and starts thrusting slowly. Harry wiggles and wanting more.

“Harder, Lou.” Harry whines, shaking his head side to side in frustration.

Louis thrusts harder and faster.

“Fuck I’m gonna come.” Harry says, wanting to touch himself but Louis intertwines their hands together. Louis bends down and kisses Harry.

“Come with me.” Louis says and Harry comes between the two slick bodies. As he tightens his muscles, he squeezes Louis who comes inside of Harry. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They don’t remember how many times it happens through the night.

They don’t remember how many times it happened through the two weeks.

All they remember is that they are always intertwined together when they wake up in the morning.

Body to body.

Their hands always holding each other.

 

***

 

There are nights that Harry feels very empty, after he left London.

It hurts.

He pushes his own fingers inside him, but it doesn’t feel right.

Harry couldn’t feel the warmth, only the pain.

He calls for Louis, over and over again but there is no answer.

He buries his head into his tear-stained pillow and cries.

He knows his sister and his family could hear him, but he can’t help it.

He misses Louis.


	13. Chapter 13

_Louis believed Harry’s forgotten about him and forgotten about Jack._

_But when the name ‘Jack McQueen’ became a household name, and Louise saw the ‘Moment’, beautiful photography that reminds him of that first night when they were together._

_Louis knew he could never ever forgive himself for letting Harry down._

_The one and only person who he swore to protect and to love._

 

Briana only stays for a few days before she wanders back to L.A. She said England is too grey and it’s too depressing.

Also, Lottie and Fiz aren’t exactly welcoming.

Darcy and Edward start again, trying to figure exactly what happened.

They have established that Louis and Harry was a couple, but if they were in love, why were they separated?

“Hey Edward.” Darcy says. “Let’s go and see Liam again.”

 

***

 

Liam hopes the two of them wouldn’t turn up again, but Sophia told them ‘don’t be a stranger’.

“We know about my father and Harry.” Darcy says first thing when he opens the door.

“Why are you here then if you’ve figured it all out?” Liam asks.

“If they were really in love, why weren’t they together?” Darcy asks with her head down, more like she is murmuring to herself.

 

_Why? Why was daddy so happy and looked so in love, and yet he wasn’t with him? And why hadn’t he ever mentioned a friend called Harry?_

 

“Why?” Sophia says from the kitchen. “Because your father got engaged and Harry got really…”

“We don’t talk about that Soph.” Liam says. “We both know Louis didn’t have a choice.”

“He should have told us if he didn’t have a choice.” Sophia smirks.

“Hold on.” Darcy says as both her and Edward looks up. “You mean, daddy broke up with Harry because he got engaged to mummy?”

“Neither of them said anything.” Liam says with no emotional. “But there was definitely a time when it was overlapped – where Louis was definitely with Harry, and he was definitely engaged, or he knew he’d be engaged to your mother.”

“Mummy said it was a conspiracy right from the start.” Darcy sighs.

 

_Mummy only knew when she told Louis she was moving back to L.A. with Steve._


	14. Chapter 14

That evening after Louis drops Harry back home, Louis is dragged out by his parents to have dinner with the Jungwirth and called into Dan’s office that evening after dinner.

“What do you think of Briana?” Dan asks.

“The little girl at dinner? She’s quite sweet.” Louis answers, raising an eyebrow at Dan. He isn’t quite sure how to answer that question.

“So you wouldn’t oppose to being engaged to Briana?” Dan asks again. Louis nearly goes into shock and he stares at Dan.

“You’re kidding, right?” Louis asks.

“Briana will eventually inherit the Jungwirth business. If you married her, the business will be yours.” Dan says.

 

_Ah. That’s the plan, is it?_

 

“I’d rather not.” Louis answers and walks out of Dan’s office.

Dan might not be his real father, but he really respect Dan and how much be loves all his step-children.

But that five minutes conversation has made Louis completely disgusted.

 

***

 

He falls onto his bed, and stares at his ceiling.

 

_Is Dan not happy with what he’s got already? Deakin’s is a pretty damn big company._

 

He throws one of his cushions on his bed across the room in frustration, but a small whine comes out.

 

_Shit. Jack._

 

Louis falls off his bed and quickly rushes over to the other side of the bedroom. Jack is right under the cushion except for his head.

“I am so sorry my love. I am so sorry.” He says as he picks up Jack and falls back into bed before picking up his phone and calls the familiar number.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks.

“Eating.” Harry mumbles.

“Okay, won’t bother you then. Sleep tight tonight.”

“You too Lou.” Harry says before they hang up.

 

_40 seconds._

_***_

 

Nothing seems to have changed after the conversation Louis had with Dan.

He still spends most of his time with Harry (Liam and Sophia too), sometimes he’s home for dinner when both Dan and Jay are at home.

But Louis does notice that they are looking more and more weary until one night when Jay knocks on Louis’ door when he is playing with Jack.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks. He can tell Jay wants to talk about something, but she isn’t too sure how to speak it out. “If you want to talk about getting engaged with Briana, then my answer is still no.”

“But Louis…” Jay says. “…you’re our only hope. We only want the best for you. I just want you to be happy, find a girl you love and be married with kids.” Jay has a tear in his eyes and Louis hates seeing his mother cry. It was only the two of them at one point, and not only they are partners, they are also best friends.

“What’s happening, and what’s going on with you and Dan?” Louis asks as he grabs a few tissues from his bedside table for Jay.

Jay spills everything out.

 

_Deakin’s, what I believe was a sturdy company, is slowly falling apart._

_From the inside._

_Dan needs the extra support to be able to execute the new market._

_The Jungwirth is the extra support._

_Briana’s father doesn’t want any contract, because he also hasn’t been able to crack that specific market._

_If Briana is engaged to Louis, and Louis will eventually become the owner of Dan’s company, it also means that the Jungwirth will have a fair share of the new market that Briana’s father has never been able to crack._

 

“Dan is completely opposed on telling you the truth, but I think you’re old enough to understand. And for the sake of Dan taking care of us, as well as Lottie, Fiz, Daisy and Phoebe, would you consider it?” Jay asks. “Unless of course, you’ve already got a girl that you love already. Dan and I draw the line there. Everybody deserves a beautiful fairy tale romance.”

 

_Is this the right time to tell them I am having a fairy tale romance, only with a boy?_

 

“No. There’s no girl.” Louis shakes his head.

“If there isn’t a girl, why don’t you get engaged first?” Jay asks. “I promise you won’t be married until you’ve gotten your degree.”

“But I…” Louis says and looks at his mother.

“When you found someone you truly love, we’ll break off the engagement, okay?” Jay says. “We’ll take everything step by step as they come along?”

 

_But I have someone I love already._

_How can I tell him this is only for a show? That I am only helping Dan out?_

_How can I tell him I might be engaged but I know I’ll be breaking it off?_

 

Louis nods and Jay lets out a massive sigh that she is holding.

“Thank you Louis.” She says. “Good night.”

“Night mum.” He answers as she turns the lights off in his room and closes the door behind her. He wants to call Harry, he really does. But he can’t not tell Harry what just happened. Not when it’s so fresh in his head.

“Jack.” Louis says quietly and pats his bed. Jack jumps onto his bed and tucks himself next to Louis under the cover.

 

_Keep me sane Jack, just like Harry always does._

 

***

 

Once the Jungwirth has received a verbal confirmation that Louis is happy with the arrangement, things start to happen at home.

Dan is working longer hours, wanting to execute his plan as early and as quickly as possible.

Jay is spending most of her time preparing for the engagement, and also inviting Briana over to the house for dinner to spend time with Louis.

Louis also realises that Briana is not one of the girls from the dinner parties anymore.

At some point, she will become his fiancée, and they are going to have to be seen in public.

Louis wants to be ruthless, but when he realises how raw and undisturbed Briana is, he couldn’t get himself to be heartless.

 

_She didn’t do anything wrong._

_She’s only part of the game that her father has orchestrated._

Louis also finds out that Briana has no idea what happened.

And she really is head over heels in love with him. Her naiveté has proven to Louis that this is a cruel cruel world, and that he isn’t coldblooded enough to tell her the truth.

He tries to be normal round her and treats her like a normal human being. He’d give her heartfelt smiles and even wander around central London with a massive teddy bear, just because she wants one.

Louis treats her like a princess.

But Louis only has 24 hours a day, and with Briana always going to his house for dinner and spending time together with Briana, most of the time he can only walk Harry home before rushing back to meet Briana.

It takes Louis two weeks to perfect the most creative lies he has ever thought of.

 

_“Got family coming over from up north. Can’t stay for too long.”_

_“It’s Dan’s father’s birthday, gotta have to be at the thing.”_

_“Lottie’s birthday is coming up and I need to go and grab a present for her.”_

_“Jack isn’t feeling very well this morning so I am taking him to the vet tonight.”_

 

It might have just come out of Louis’ mouth smoothly, but every time he tells a lie to Harry, he feels like someone is stabbing him straight through his heart.

Louis once considers telling Harry the whole truth, and tells him he is not in love with the girl at all, but what if Harry couldn’t take it? Harry will be worried, and it’ll trigger his anxiety.

And Harry probably wouldn’t take it too well if he says ‘by the way I’ve verbally agreed to be engaged to this girl and I have to spend some time with her’.

Louis knows Harry well enough now to know what Harry’s reaction might be.

 

***

 

“Lou, do you not want me anymore?” Harry asks. “You’re always rushing home after you walk me home.”

Louis suddenly turns pale.

“Don’t be stupid.” Louis says sternly. Even Harry is shocked by Louis’ reaction.

Louis realised Harry was joking, but it is too late to backtrack.

“Louis.” Harry says quietly. “You’ll tell me if I’ve done something wrong, or said something wrong, right?”

“It’s never you H.” Louis answers quietly. “We’ve finished our exams now, and I am a bit anxious on my results, you know?”

Louis gasps internally.

He doesn’t even think when he lies anymore.

“But Lou, recently I feel like…” Harry bites his bottom lip before he speaks again. “…I feel like I’m going to lose you.”

A big fat tear rolls down Harry’s face. He doesn’t want to say too much, because it will just make him cry even more. Louis embraces Harry and let him buries his face in his chest. He strokes his hair gently, and presses kisses all over his head.

“Can you stay tonight?” Harry looks up and asks. “Please?”

 

_I do. I really want to. But I can’t._

_It’s Briana’s father’s birthday._

“What about tomorrow?” Louis asks. “Remember, I told you mum’s got plan tonight?”

“But Lou…” Harry says as he pulls up Louis’ shirt and rests both of his palms on his bare skin. “Lou… I miss you.”

Louis wants to press a kiss on Harry there and then and just do what his body tells him to, but he can’t.

“Lou.” Harry says, tighten his grip on Louis’ waist.

“H.”

“Tonight.” Harry starts stroking Louis’ bare skin.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Please?” Harry pouts and bites his bottom lip.

“I can’t tonight.” Louis says, unwrapping himself from Harry’s grip.

Harry knows Louis isn’t going to change his mind. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and turns his head away from Louis.

“I promise I’ll stay tomorrow night.” Louis says to the back of Harry’s head. “I’ll even bring Jack and we can spend the day outside.”

Harry still faces the wall, but Louis can see a small nod from Harry. He picks up his coat and leaves the room.

“Not staying for dinner tonight Louis?” Harry hears Anne asks Louis.

“Sorry, got a family thing tonight. I’ll stay tomorrow though!”

“Alright. Safety journey home.”

“Thank you!” Louis answers and rushes out of the house.

Harry looks at his hands.

 

_I used to be able to feel Louis’ warmth in my hands._

_I used to be able to feel Louis in my fingertips._

_Now it’s just thin air._

_Nothingness._

 

***

 

Louis is not expecting a birthday party turning into his engagement party.

He isn’t even sure where the engagement ring comes from.

He spends the whole night holding onto Briana’s hand and saying ‘thank you’ to people who congratulate them.

He wants to call Harry that night after the dinner, but he doesn’t have the energy or the courage.

 

_Night night. I am sleeping now._

He texts.

It is meaningless really, because he know Harry must have been asleep for the last hour by then.

He loves him too much, he just wants a world that belongs to the two of them, but reality wouldn’t let him have that.

He suddenly remembers all the weird questions that Harry asks him recently.

 

_Lou, what shall we do if we aren’t in the same uni?_

_Lou, what shall we do if I can’t find a job, will you take care of me?_

_Lou, what shall we do if we can’t be forever?_

 

Does Harry know something?


	15. Chapter 15

Sophia is in tears after hearing the story from Darcy and Edward.

Liam is quiet.

Neither of them realise how much weight Louis was carrying on his shoulder.

 

_Louis didn’t fall out of love with Harry and in love with someone else._

_After Harry left, I never once tried to contact Louis to see if he is alright._

_Louis never tried to get in touch either, to explain himself to us._

_Because to Louis, we aren’t as important as Harry._

_And Louis only cares what is the most important in his life._

_If he can’t explain himself to Harry, there is no point of Louis explaining himself to us._

Liam sighs.

“Harry might have reacted differently if Louis told him the truth.”

“Do you mean… Uncle Harry didn’t know?” Edward asks.

“No, Harry doesn’t know anything.” Liam says. “Not that it matters anyway, after what happened.”

“This wasn’t Louis’ fault… if he knows exactly what happened to Harry, I don’t think Louis would have done it this way.” Sophia says. “Maybe they just… weren’t meant to be?”

“Shit I was such as ass to Louis after what happened. I really wish I can dig him out of his grave and tell him how sorry I am.” Liam says, a small tear glisten from the corner of his eyes.

“Liam, do you mind telling us… what happened after daddy got engaged?” Darcy asks. “I just want to know.” Liam sighs again.

“Harry didn’t leave because Louis was engaged. Harry left because Louis’ engagement triggered Harry’s illness, and he got sick again.”

\---

 

“Honey, time to go to school!” Anne shouts from the kitchen. Gemma has been ready for a while and playing on her phone, and Niall just rang the doorbell and let himself in. Harry slowly emerges from his room and glances at the breakfast table, where Robin has left today’s newspaper.

 

The biggest news in Logistic.

Daughter of American Logistic Company Jungwirth engaged to Deakin’s step-son.

 

Deakin?

Isn’t that Louis’ step-dad?

 

Harry looks at the photo and there it was.

Louis holding hands with a girl.

Harry is shaking.

He falls onto a chair, his hands cold.

“Harry? Harry?” Anne says and puts down the tray of food. “Gemma!”

Gemma rushes towards the dining room table with Niall and the moment she sees Gemma, she wraps him up in her arms.

“Breathe Harry.” Gemma says. “Please Harry, breathe.”

Harry’s eyes are close, and he leans into Gemma’s chest.

“I can’t.” Harry says. “I can’t…” Gemma turns towards Niall.

“Ni, give me a hand.” Gemma says and stands up, wrapping Harry’s arm round one of her shoulders. Niall wraps Harry’s other arm round his.

Niall can feel Harry’s body shaking.

The two of them carry Harry back to his room. Anne follows behind them with Harry’s medication. Niall helps Harry change back into his pyjamas and back into bed.

He curls up into a foetal position and covers himself all the way with his cover.

“You two go to school.” Anne says whilst dialling the doctor’s number. “I’ve got it.”

“But mum…” Gemma argues and Anne shakes her head.

“We’ll be back Harry.” Niall says before pushing Gemma out of Harry’s room.

 

***

 

Harry has stopped shaking when the doctor arrives.

“I’ve prescribe some Valium for Harry for the next week.” The doctor says. “Something has triggered his anxiety and I am worried if his depression is coming back.”

Harry stays in his room most of the time, and Anne brings him food which he hardly eats. Gemma of course spends a lot of her time with Harry, and Niall is always there after school.

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at the walls.

 

_Why did Louis get engaged so suddenly?_

_Maybe it’s been a while? He’s been weird for a long time._

_A girl picked up one night when I called, and I thought I dialled the wrong number._

_And when I called again it was Louis._

_Why didn’t Louis say anything?_

_Because he is worried I’d be upset?_

_Then why did he do it?_

_Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore?_

_Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore._

_But if he doesn’t love me then why spend time with me?_

_Because he thinks I can’t take it if we break up, so he just does it for the sake of it?_

 

Harry wants to stop thinking.

The only way he knows he can stop thinking is when he’s asleep.

 

_Sleeping is good._

_Nothing happens when you’re asleep._

_Maybe I should just sleep._

_Forever._

 

Harry usually keeps his own medications.

So he takes a sleeping pill during the day and sleeps through the day.

Then he takes a double dose in the evening to sleep through the night.

When he realises sleeping pill isn’t working, and he can’t take too many of them because the doctors and his mum will be suspicious, he starts telling Anne he has a really bad headache, and Anne gives him painkillers.

Painkillers and a small dose of sedation drugs that will help him sleep better.

He is refusing food, and he can’t make it out of his bedroom, let alone to school.

 “This isn’t looking good.” The doctor says as he visits for the second time, after Anne realises Harry is sleeping too much. “I’ll start prescribing some new drugs and we’ll see how it goes. I don’t think Harry should be keeping any drugs himself anymore.” Anne nods.

He’s not upset about Louis’ engagement – he’s more upset about Louis giving up on him.

He can’t do anything about it.

Everything hurts.

His head, his heart, his mind, his body – but he can’t feel it.

He bites his own wrist until neat little lines of bruises are formed.

He can feel that pain, and that pain feels nice.

Anne eventually finds out what he is doing, and she wraps his wrists up with bandages.

“Harry, please. Don’t do it. Please. Promise me you won’t do it again.” Anne begs.

“I promise mum.” Harry says. “I’ll sorry.”

But Harry can’t help it – every time he can’t feel the pain, he just need to feel something.

 

***

 

“Harry honey, do you want dinner with us?” Anne asks. They have taken off Harry’s bedroom door, he isn’t allowed to be alone anymore. If he doesn’t want to stay outside, he can stay in his room with no doors.

“No thanks mum.” Harry answers and walks slowly to the bathroom.

“Just a small plate?” Anne says. “You have to eat something.”

“I’ll sit with you? Maybe a glass of elder flower cordial…”

“Okay.” Anne says dejectedly. But if Harry is happy to sit at the dining room with them, it means that she still has a chance to get him to eat. She is just serving up food when she hears a loud crash in the bathroom.

Robin and Gemma both rush towards the bathroom. Harry is lying on the tile floor, his chin bleeding and there is a cut on his forehead.

“I fell.” Harry says emotionlessly with his eyes wide, looking at a small child.

Harry has been falling a lot recently.

Twice in his own room – Gemma hears the crash and checks on him. The small bruise on his knee is still fading.

Once on his way from his room to the bathroom – luckily Robin is close by, and he grabs hold of Harry. He only grazes his elbow.

“We’re going to A&E.” Robin says and picks up his car key.

“I’ll go with Robin.” Gemma says and hugs his mum. “He’ll be okay mum. He’ll be okay.”

 

***

 

Three stitches.

“I think I am turning slowly into a sloth mum.” Harry says when he gets home, sitting on the sofa with Anne who has only just stopped crying when they come back from the hospital. She wraps Harry up into her arms and rests her head on top of his. He doesn’t need to see her tears.

“You’re not turning in a sloth, you just move slower.” Gemma says.

“Let’s baby-proof everything again.” Robin smiles. “That’ll stop us all from bruising.”

 

_I didn’t mean to hurt myself._

_I am distracted. I can feel Louis’ eyes on me when I am not in my room._

_I turn too quickly and get distracted._

_I trip over and fall._

_I didn’t mean to._

Anne thinks that Harry is self-harming without knowing he is doing it himself.

 

***

 

Liam is probably the last one to find out Louis is engaged. He rushes to Harry’s class with Sophia and neither of them is there.

It is quite normal for Harry to miss long period of school. The school is a bit more tolerant with Harry, knowing his condition, and as long as he passes and he does all the work, they don’t say much about it.

They are tolerant with Gemma too, she is one of the best students anyway without going to school.

“Do you know where Louis or Harry is?” He grabs Niall.

“I don’t know where Louis is, but Gemma isn’t at school today either.”

“Have you tried to call them?” Liam asks. Niall shakes his head.

Liam tries Harry’s number but the phone is off.

“Let me give Gemma a call.” Niall says and dials Gemma’s number.

The phone is off too.

“Home number.” Liam says, praying that the number is still the same.

“Hello?”

“Anne? This is Liam.”

“Hi Liam.” Anne says. “Is everything okay?”

“I haven’t seen Harry for a few days now, I just want to make sure he’s okay?”

“He is.” Anne answers.

“What about Gemma? She’s not in school too.” Liam says.

“Their grandfather isn’t well and he demanded to see both of them. They’re both in Cheshire.” Anne says.

“Both of their phones are off though.”

“It was a very rushed trip, their phones are both at home.”

“When are they back?”

“Should be next week.” Anne says. “But depending on how their grandfather is, of course.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Anne didn’t sound right when we talked.” Liam says. “Obviously I found out eventually that Harry and Gemma never went to Cheshire. I wished they were though, because it means that Harry doesn’t know anything.”

“Did you not talk to daddy? You must have gotten his number too, because you guys played football together?” Darcy asks.

“Louis was in school that day. He was late, that’s all.” Liam answers. “When I asked him when did he get engaged and if Harry knew… He didn’t say anything. He said it’s between him and Harry and he’ll tell Harry himself.”

“That’s it?” Darcy says.

“He called Anne too; and she told him the same story about Cheshire.” Liam answers. “I guess I was angry with him for not telling any of us, and he’s probably wasn’t sure what he’s doing either, after hearing your story.”

“They nearly ended up in a fight.” Sophia reminisces. “I remember having to stand between the two of them.”

“We stopped talking after that. There was no point. He didn’t want to tell me, I just want to punch him.”

 

_Would anything have changed, if I have been more persistent?_

_Maybe we would have stayed friends if I have tried harder?_

 


	17. Chapter 17

“Hi Anne, it’s Liam.” Liam says when he calls Harry’s home number a week later. “I just want to know if Harry’s back yet?”

“He is… He’s been in the house all this time.” Anne says. “He never was in Cheshire.”

“Is he okay?”

“The depression is back.” Anne sobs. “It’s very severe this time.”

Liam is well aware of Harry’s condition.

The first time they met and eventually Liam became Harry’s friend and Harry brought him home, Anne talked to Liam because she didn’t want Liam to upset Harry accidentally. By then, the depression isn’t obvious and Harry only has some off-days that he (and Anne) insisted on staying at home. Most of the time it’s when he is anxious about his exam results, or if he’s been staying up revising and he is stressed out. The occurrences happened less and less, and Robin and Anne, as well as Liam and Gemma thought he was better.

 

***

 

Liam and Sophia head straight to Harry’s after school that night.

“Don’t be alarmed by what you see, okay?” Liam says to Sophia. She has never seen Harry when he is going through one of his phases before. “It can be bad.”

Sophia just nods.

Anne welcomes both of them with a small smile, and she is glad that the two of them are here. Niall is sitting on the sofa with Gemma, looking just as gloomy.

“Glad you made it man.” Niall says. “He’s not looking good.” Liam just nods.

Harry is very much the same as before on one of his off-days, sitting in the corner of his room where there is no lights. He is curled up with his knees up to his chest, and his chin rests on top of his knees. When he hears Liam and Sophia knocking on the wall, he looks up.

His eyes are lifeless, and he doesn’t say a word.

He just looks at Sophia and Liam.

It’s only been a week since they last see him and it is obvious Harry has lost a lot of weight.

He has always been skinny, but this is beyond healthy.

His skin has lost his glow and he is very pale.

Harry used to look at him with a bitter smile on his face and says ‘I am depressed again’ on his off-days when he used to visit.

But this time Harry doesn’t say anything.

 

_So much I want to say._

_I want to tell him just because he has an off-day, he can skive off work._

_I want to tell him it doesn’t fucking matter anymore now that Louis’ engaged._

_I want to tell him he’s an idiot for falling in love with the wrong person._

_I want to tell him if Louis is engaged to a girl, he can be too._

_But the words just couldn’t (and wouldn’t) come out of my mouth._

 

“Harry.” Liam whispers. Sophia walks up to him and engulfs him into her arms. Harry wants to smile. He tries, and he tries to lift the corners of his lips up, but he can’t. He just couldn’t do it.

“If you can’t smile, then don’t.” Liam says, sitting next to him and Sophia still hugging Harry, sobbing into his shoulder.

“I’m useless, right? Just a tiny little thing and I’ve got depression again.”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re just having an off day.” Sophia says.

“It’s been a bit gloomy outside, there’s no sun.” Liam adds. “It makes everybody depress. Unfortunately you live in England. It can’t be helped.”

“Thank you for coming.” Harry says. “I really miss you guys, but I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Why? You’re still Harry.”

“I… I don’t think I’ll be better this time.”

“Who said that?” Sophia asks. “You got better before right? You’ll get better again.”

“Soph, I know what I am like.” Harry sighs. “I don’t know how long I can take this.”

“Cry it out.” Liam says, putting an arm round Harry. “Let it all out. You’ll feel better.”

“I can’ feel anything.” Harry sobs. “I can’t feel myself, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I don’t even have the energy to cry. Just being alive in painful, but I can’t even feel that.”

“Harry…”

“I am trying my best already. I am.” Harry says, tears finally running down his face.

Sophia hugs Harry until he stops.

Even that she doesn’t let go.

Liam’s arm also stays round Harry’s shoulder.

The three of them sit in the corner of the room until Anne knock on the wall and pops her head in.

“It’s late.” Anne says. “Do you guys want to stay for dinner?”

“I think we better head home.” Liam says and Sophia nods.

“I’ll get Robin to drop you home.” Anne smiles and turns to walk back into the sitting room.

“Can… can you bring Jack next time you come over?” Harry asks quietly as the two of them stand up to head home.

“Of course honey.” Sophia says, trying to squeeze a smile onto her face before bending down to press a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll come back to see you as soon as we can.”


	18. Chapter 18

“I guess after Harry left, the only thing that Louis was left with is Jack. He spent all his free time with Jack as if he’s drowning and Jack is the only one that keeps him alive.” Liam says. “He’d used to rush home after school, pick up Jack and then rush back to football practice.”

“He’d freak out if I go for a walk with Jack.” Sophia reminisces. “If he lifted his head up and can’t see Jack, he looked as if he would have an anxiety attack.”

“It’s weird.” Liam says.

“I can’t forget what Harry looked like that day.” Sophia says. “And everything he said. He never once mentioned ‘Louis’. It seems like he thought it’s his fault for getting sick again.”

Edward keeps rubbing his nose to stop himself from crying. Darcy on the other hand, looks like a little panda because her (waterproofed) mascara and (waterproofed) eyeliner are all running down her face and her nose is red from blowing. Sophia puts a soothing hand on her back and hands her more tissue.


	19. Chapter 19

Louis wakes up early after the engagement party to meet Harry at his flat like he always does before they walk to school together.

Harry still hasn’t turned up after an hour.

He tries calling Harry’s phone, but no one picked up.

He rings the doorbell and Anne answers the door.

“He’s gone to Cheshire halfway through the night with Robin and Gemma.” Anne says. “His grandfather is ill.”

Louis doesn’t believe Anne because her face is written with worry and panic.

Louis guesses that Harry probably knows about his engagement already, and doesn’t want to see him.

Harry lives very close to school, and for once Louis notices how empty and lonely the street to school is.

He has always walked this route with Harry, laughing and talking.

He walks into his classroom without announcing himself, and the teacher just his head as Louis takes his seat at the back of the room.

 

_Does a Louis without Harry look strange?_

_Or is Louis no longer a Louis without Harry?_

_Harry probably laughs at my theory, right?_

 

***

 

It’s been a week and there is still no sign of Harry.

Louis calls Harry’s home number every day, but Anne gives him the same answer.

Harry is still in Cheshire.

“Oi.” Liam calls him as he is leaving school. Niall and Sophia are both walking behind Liam.

“What do you want?” Louis says, raising an eyebrow at Liam. Sophia and Niall stops as well and stands close to Liam.

“Come of it.” Niall says.

“Bring Jack tomorrow.” Sophia says. “Harry wants to see Jack.”

“Harry is back?” Louis asks, his eyes wide opened. He just came off the phone with Anne and Anne just said he is still in Cheshire.

“You serious believed Harry was in Cheshire.” Liam asks.

“I’ll bring Jack to Harry’s tomorrow.” Louis says, ignoring Liam.

“Just give Jack to us and we’ll bring it to Harry.” Niall says coldly.

“I need to talk to Harry.” Louis says. “This is between me and Harry. I don’t need you all to be involved in this.”

“I’ll give Harry a call and make sure he wants to see you.” Sophia says.

“I know Gemma wouldn’t.” Niall smirks.

“I’ll call him myself.” Louis says, turns around and keeps walking.

 

_Louis’ changed._

_***_

 

Louis doesn’t wait until the next day. He rushes off after school and straight to Harry’s.

He calls Harry’s home number on his way.

“Hello?” Anne answers.

“Hi Anne, it’s Louis.” He says. “I am on my way.”

“What’s wrong? Harry is still in Cheshire.”

“Liam’s told me Harry’s at home.”

“Louis…” Anne sighs. “I think it’s best you don’t come and see Harry.”

“But Anne, please…”

“I guess… I would like to talk to you anyway.”

 

_Why did Anne ask me not to come?_

_Even if Harry is angry at me, surely he’d give me a chance to explain myself?_

_And what does it mean, when Anne said she’d like to talk to me?_

_Does he know about me and Harry?_

 

***

 

Louis presses the familiar doorbell and of course, it was Anne who opens the door.

And he thanks god for that.

He isn’t sure what Gemma would have done if it was Gemma.

“Is Harry okay?” Louis asks as he bends down to take his shoes off and also to avoid looking directly at Anne’s eyes.

“He’s asleep. Gemma is sitting with him.” Anne says. “Come and have a sit, I want to talk to you.” Louis sits down on the sofa. “Harry’s depression came back. He hasn’t been eating and he can’t sleep without the help of medication. He’s also showing signs of self-harm.”

All these seem surreal to Louis.

Louis knows about the depression.

And the anxiety.

And the anorexia.

But Harry seems so normal and he doesn’t seem to be suffering from any of this.

And he doesn’t know about the self-harming.

Part of Louis is ready to hear that Harry is having an off-day (of an off-week), but he isn’t ready to take in the fact that is a lot of serious than he assumed.

He thought he pushed Harry back to his own little world, but he doesn’t realise he has taken Harry to his world, and now that he wants Harry to go back, he couldn’t.

He is stuck in the middle.

In the nothingness.

Louis isn’t quite sure what to say, and how to react.

“Harry has always been a bright child and he always works hard. He isn’t great with people, and I guess that’s probably my fault. When I divorced, Harry, Gemma and I become a team. He likes spending time with me and Gemma, and everybody in school starts to call him ‘mummy’s boy’. Gemma of course, fights them off if she saw him being bullied, but it just made matters worse. Eventually I noticed that Harry’s become all quiet, and he likes to hide in his own little world.” Anne says. “I took him to see a psychologist, just in case. It turned out that he has anxiety when he is at school, and he is depressed from what people say and call him. The psychologist said he needs a hobby. That was about the same time when Robin comes into our lives, I think? Robin bought a camera on one of our outings and it turns out Harry is exceptionally good at it. Robin gave him the camera and just let him play with it and eventually gave it to him. Liam and Niall have both been godsend and they don’t care if Harry’s best friends are his sister and his mum and everything seemed better. He has his off-days every now and then, and Liam and Niall would just come and go and visit him after school to make sure he’s okay, and bring him homework. His off-days become less and less, and we all thought he is getting better; until last week.” Anne says and a tear runs down her cheek as she reaches out for a tissue. “He saw the front page of the newspaper… and that was it.”

 

_The newspaper._

_Of course Harry saw the newspaper._

_Harry saw his engagement._

_Why didn’t Harry just confirm it?_

 

Louis turns and looks at the doorframe to Harry’s room (Where is the door?).

“The only thing on the front page of the newspaper is your engagement.” Anne says.

“Anne, I…”

“You never told Harry that you’re getting engaged, right? Harry likes you. A lot. He thought you wouldn’t be spending time with him anymore after the engagement, and you didn’t tell him, I guess that’s why he was upset.” Anne says.

“I didn’t mean to not tell him.”

“I thought in the beginning that Harry is upset before he thought he has lost a friend. I thought he’d be better after a week.”

“That’s why you told us he’s in Cheshire.”

“But right now it doesn’t look like he’s getting any better.” Anne says and looks at Louis. “You and Harry… you’re not just friends, are you?” Louis isn’t quite sure how to answer that. “I asked Liam and Sophia. And Niall. And Gemma. None of them said anything.”

“I like Harry.” Louis confesses. “I love him.”

“But the thing is Louis, you’re engaged.”

“But it’s what my family wants, and not what I want.”

“Louis. I understand and I totally accept your relationship with my son.” Anne says. “But the truth is, you want to be together, but you can’t.”

Anne isn’t blaming him, nor is she telling him off. She is just pulling apart the situation logically and analysing the situation. Louis sinks into the sofa. For once, Louis realise you can’t just have it because you want it or you love it. You still have to back down in life and there is nothing you can do about it.

“Even if you and Harry are back to what you used to be and Harry gets better, what if you family wants you and your fiancée to get married? How is Harry going to take that? And do you want Harry to be in the dark and be your ‘secret’?” Anne asks. “Harry has always been a very black and white child. If he likes something, he will show it. He doesn’t hide his feeling, and he can’t hide his feeling.” Louis remembers how Harry doesn’t know how to lie. “Maybe it’s time for closure? Bring it to a natural end? I don’t know how many times we can bring Harry back from the verge.”

 

_Bring Harry back from the verge? What does she mean?_

 

“The self-harming…”

“He is showing suicidal signs.” Anne sighs. “He doesn’t mean to of course. But his subconscious doesn’t want to live anymore.”

Louis sobs.

 

_Between Harry living and dragging Harry into his mess, he wants Harry to live._

“I… won’t contact Harry again.” Louis says after drying his tears.

“I am sorry to burden you with all this Louis.” Anne says. “I really like you, we all do. Even Gemma, who is always so fierce. But we can’t lose Harry.”

“I understand.” Louis says and stands up with Anne. He hugs Anne, and she hugs him back, and it feels like Harry.

“Do you want to see him one more time?” Anne asks. “We are thinking of moving away from London…”

“Back to Cheshire?”

“Maybe New York.” Anne answers. “Harry always likes New York. He said the skyline is beautiful. And Gemma also got accepted by Cornell, we thought it’s a good time to go; a change of scenery.”

“I don’t think Harry wants to see me.” Louis says as he picks up his coat. “Besides, I don’t know what I’d say to him.”

 

_Whatever I want to say, doesn’t matter anymore._

“He’s sleeping.” Anne answers. “He wouldn’t be awake for a while.”

Louis walks slowly towards Harry’s room and there he is, lying on his bed, calm and serene.

But Harry is pale, and he lost a lot of weight. His eyebrows are knotted together and his hands holding a tight fist. The stitches are still visible and healing on his chin.

Harry looks as if he is a small lost child.

Louis is the one that used to hold his hand and guide him.

Harry hasn’t lost Louis – Louis has lost Harry and Harry doesn’t know how to find his way back.

Louis kneels by Harry’s bed, and brushes the strand of hair off his face.

 

_I’m sorry Harry._

_I am so sorry._

_Please don’t forget me._

_I love you. I always will love you._

Louis bites his lower lip hard, because he doesn’t want to cry out loud, but the tears are strolling down his face and down onto Harry’s bed. Anne just let him be, and she turns back to the sitting room and cry.

 

_I am sorry Louis. I know you love him._

_But I can’t lose Harry._

 

***

 

Louis doesn’t turn back once when he leaves Harry’s.

 

_Let the past be the past._

_Let bygones be bygones._

_I wish you joy and happiness Harry._

_Without me._

 

***

 

Louis feels mentally exhausted when he arrives home and throws himself onto his bed. Jack bounces onto the bed and starts licking on Louis’ face.

 

_Jack is spoilt because Harry lets him do everything._

_Harry loves Jack, and that’s probably why he wants to see Jack?_

_Maybe Jack will be good for Harry._

_Jack’s got a doggy passport anyway – at one point I wanted to take Harry away for a short holiday with Jack._

_But I guess that’s not going to happen anymore?_

“Jack.” Louis says gently and the dog looks at him and Louis kisses the top of Jack’s nose. “Wanna see Harry tomorrow?” Jack wiggles his tail excitedly.


	20. Chapter 20

“Louis talked to me the next day but told me not to get involved.” Liam says. “But he came to find me the day after.”

“I thought Daddy wants to go to Harry’s himself?” Darcy asks. “With Jack?”

“His driver brought Jack to school when he came to pick Louis up.” Liam says. “We haven’t seen the driver for a very long time.”

“Louis said he is giving Jack to Harry. Gemma took Jack straight away and walked off with Niall.” Sophia says. “I followed of course.”

“I didn’t.” Liam says. “I told Louis he’s not strong enough to be with Harry; and he didn’t deserve Harry.”

 

_But that’s a lie._

_He is strong._

_He took all the pain that came with the break up, and he took all the responsibility to make Briana happy._

_He was strong._

 

Darcy suddenly realises she now understand her father.

 

_He gave up his everything, including his happiness to make the person he loved the most happy._

_And give all his happiness to the person that loved him._

 

Edward puts a comforting arm round Darcy, who throws herself into his arms and cries.

“We all headed to Harry’s with Jack.” Sophia says. “Harry smiled the moment he saw Jack. His whole face lit up, and we haven’t seen that for a long long time.”

“He didn’t keep Jack though.” Liam says. “He asked me to bring Jack back to Louis. That heart-shape locket you showed me? That is the last present Harry gave Louis.”


	21. Chapter 21

Louis waits round the corner from Harry’s because he isn’t sure if Harry will keep Jack. So when Liam, Sophia and Niall come out of the building with Jack in Sophia’s arm, his heart breaks. He reaches out to Sophia and wraps up Jack, who smells faintly of Harry.

 

_He doesn’t want anything that reminds me of him._

“Harry smiled the moment he sees Jack.” Sophia says.

“Then why doesn’t he keep Jack?” Louis asks. They all shake their heads.

“To remind you of him, I guess.” Niall says without thinking. Then Louis notices something glistening in the light.

“What is it?” Louis asks.

“Oh that.” Sophia says before turning around and walks off. “You might want to take it off before it strangles Jack.”

“Harry wraps it round Jack’s neck twice in case it falls off.” Liam says.


	22. Chapter 22

“That was the last time I saw Harry.” Liam says. “That was the last time WE saw Harry.” Sophia nods.

“He didn’t keep in touch after he left for New York.” Sophia says. “But when we saw ‘Moment’ and we saw ‘Jack McQueen’, we knew it was Harry straight away.”

“We stopped worrying then.” Liam says. “It’s such a coincident that both Harry and Louis pass away on the same day.”

 

***

 

Edward doesn’t think Darcy is in the right state of mind to drive home, so he takes the car key instead.

It is only a short way to go back to Darcy’s, but Darcy insists that they should go out to dinner and directs Edward towards Kaspar’s Seafood Bar and Grill.

“No wonder Daddy never let me touch the necklace, because it’s a present from Harry.” Darcy says, looking at the necklace that is now round her neck.

 

_I’m glad I know the story._

Edward has always been a happy-go-lucky type of guy (Taking from his father). It’s been too many years to say who was in the right and who was in the wrong. Even though there is no happy ending to this story, it is a perfect love story and he is glad to know that his uncle has experience a beautiful love story.

“Daddy feels real now.” Darcy says, holding onto the locket, as if she can feel Louis’ warmth with a tender smile on her face.

For a second Edward thought he saw Louis.

The Louis that was on one of Harry’s prints.


	23. Chapter 23

Harry is awake when they four of them plus Jack get home.

“Look who I’ve brought with me.” Gemma announces and walks into Harry’s room without knocking. Harry is sitting on his bed with his camera, but he isn’t taking any photos. Sophia gently removes the camera and put it on his desk. The moment Jack regconises Harry’s room, he escapes from Gemma’s arm and flies onto Harry’s bed.

Harry isn’t ready for him but he already thrown himself at Harry and starts licking his face. Harry smiles, and it is one of those smiles that they haven’t seen for a very long time.

“Jack I miss you.” Harry says. “How’s my Jack?” Niall picks up Jack whilst Harry tries to get out of bed with Gemma and Liam’s help. He sits on the floor of his room and Jack runs back and forth into Harry’s arms and round the room.

“I feel completely defeated. I have known you for god knows how many years and I can’t bring a smile to your face. The moment you see this damn dog you’re already smiling.” Niall smirks.

Harry ignores him.

Harry ignores everybody but Jack that afternoon. Anne pops in and out to make sure he is okay, and eventually they leave Harry on his own in his room, and sits in the sitting room rather than crowd in Harry’s room.

“Thank you for bringing Jack over.” Anne says to Liam. “I am glad he still remembers how to smile.”

“Mum, can we keep Jack?” Gemma asks. “He makes Harry so happy.”

“But isn’t Jack Louis’?” Anne asks.

“Who cares?” Gemma smirks. “Anything to make Harry happy. I’ll kidnap small children for Harry if that’s what makes him happy. I draw the line at Louis though. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Keep it down Gem.” Anne whispers. “Harry doesn’t know Louis was here yesterday.”

“Harry doesn’t know?” Niall asks, shocked. Anne shakes her head.

“He was asleep.” Anne answers. Harry calls Sophia and Liam and the two of them head back to Harry’s room.

“When are you leaving?” Harry asks.

“Do you want us to go?” Liam asks.

“Whenever you want.” Sophia smiles. “If you want us to stay, then we will.”

“Okay.” Harry says. “But don’t forget Jack.”

“Jack’s staying with you.” Gemma shouts from the sitting room.

“Why?” Harry asks.

“I am kidnapping him!” Gemma shouts again.

“He said he’s giving you Jack.” Liam answers. Liam doesn’t dare to use Louis’ name, he doesn’t want to risk anything.

“But he’s a Tomlinson. Jack McQueen Tomlinson.” Harry says as he slowly strokes Jack. “He can’t stay with me.” None of them knows how to react to what Harry just said. “Soph, can you grab that box from my shelf?”

“Sure.” Sophia says and reaches out to the Tiffany Green box. “This one?”

“Yeah.” Harry answers. He opens the box and inside is a heart-shape necklace, and he wraps it round Jack’s neck twice.

Just enough not to strangle him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Liam asks.

 

_He’s not planning to give a Tiffany necklace to a dog, is he?_

 

“Saw it a while ago now.” Harry says. “It’s a limited edition. It was going to be a graduation present.” Liam knows exactly what he meant.

“You keep Jack. I’ll take the necklace.” Sophia says.

“Jack…”

 

_Jack is the proof that they were together._

_Jack needs to go back to Louis with the necklace._

_Louis said Jack and me both belong to him._

_We are both Tomlinson._

_Jack needs to go back to Louis._

Harry carefully puts Jack into Sophia’s arm and climbs back into bed.

“I am sleepy again.” Harry says, rubbing his eyes and turns to face the wall. It is a silent plead to Sophia and Liam and it is Harry asking them to leave.

“We’ll see you soon Harry.” Sophia says and pulling onto Liam’s sleeve and drags him out of Harry’s room.

After he hears the front door shut, he opens the curtain and looks outside of the window.

Harry uses to love looking out of the window. He can see Louis walking towards him in the morning to pick him up for school, and he can see Louis leaving after dropping him off after school.


	24. Chapter 24

Harry never told Liam, Niall or Sophia when he is due to leave England.

He makes one last phone call to say goodbye.

Gemma assumes it was to Liam and Sophia.

“I’ll see you soon Irish.” Gemma says to Niall on the phone.

New York is different from London and for the first few years Harry is still finding it difficult to adjust, and the depression comes and goes nearly as frequent as the taxis in New York.

“Can we go to Flushing Meadows?” Harry asks when they are having dinner. “It’s the summer, and the flowers are all open there, apparently the roads are beautiful.”

“Of course my love. We can do whenever.” Anne answers.

 

***

 

Niall somehow tracks down Gemma in Cornell and the two of them rekindle their relationship (if it was a relationship previously).

He moves to New York too and stays with Gemma, Anne, Robin and Harry.

They go back to London one year but only for a few days for Liam and Sophia’s wedding.

Both Liam and Sophia hope Harry would be there with Gemma and Niall.

He wasn’t.

Two weeks later, ‘Moment’ wins the best amateur photo of the year.

Harry becomes ‘Jack McQueen’ and starts his life as ‘Jack McQueen’, a photographer.


	25. Chapter 25

Louis sits at his desk for a good eight hours when he sees ‘Moment’.

The pink and the purple and London skyline.

From then onwards, Louis buys every single piece that has ‘Jack McQueen’ on it and puts it into his childhood bedroom.

The only space that both Harry and Louis can be together.


	26. Chapter 26

23rd July 2034

Harry is arranging his photos in the album and realises he hasn’t had lunch yet.

He slowly makes his way down the stairs to the kitchen.

He slides off the top step of the staircase and fall the rest of the way down.

He remembers hearing Anne and Gemma faintly screaming.

He also remembers faintly that someone picks him up.

Before he closes his eyes, he sees Louis’ face.

 

_Louis. Are you here to take me with you?_

 

***

 

Louis boards his private jet after a long meeting in Abu Dhabi.

He hasn’t slept for the last 40 hours, having flown to the Middle East to finalise a project.

The moment he climbs onto the plane, he falls asleep.

He feels the plane jolts, and his assistant shakes him awake.

“We are losing height.” He says in a panic.

Louis realises he is never going to make it home.

He grabs his phone, wanting to give Darcy one last call but the plane was falling and he loses the grip on his phone and accidentally calls his voicemail and it jumps to the one saved message. A message that has been saved in his voicemail for too many years.

 

_Bye Lou. I’m going. Please live a happy life. I’ll try my best too. I love you. Forever and always._

 

_Forever and always._

_Harry, did you say forever and always?_

 

Just as the plane hits the ground, Louis closes his eyes and see Harry.

 

_Harry. Are you here to take me with you?_


	27. Chapter 27

Darcy watches Edward packing up his stuff at the flat, ready to make his way back to New York.

“How did your Uncle Harry become a photographer?” Darcy asks.

“Well. Dad said Uncle Harry insisted on submitting a photo to this international photographic magazine that Uncle Harry has a subscription for nearly forever.” Edward answers. “It’s very unlike Uncle Harry. He likes to keep a low profile. You know how there’s like… American Vogue and British Vogue, Japanese Vogue and Chinese Vogue?” Darcy nods. “There is only one version of this magazine.”

The two of them realise what that meant.

Harry knows Louis knows about the magazine. Harry wants Louis to see that he’s well enough to take photos.

And he was in London.

“Oh I brought you something.” Darcy says, pulling out two bottles of Moët from her massive handbag. “For celebration.”

“Celebrate what?” Edward asks, already pulling out champagne flutes from the cupboard. Darcy pops open the bottle and start pouring.

“To your uncle and my father. Their beautiful love story.” She says and drinks the whole glass. Edward follows. She tops up the glasses again.

“And this one?”

“To us. We made a pretty good team.” She answers and the two of them down another glass.

They start making up all sorts of reasons and toast to anything and everything.

Darcy falls asleep on the sofa eventually and Edward picks her up and puts her in the guest room.

Edward suddenly feels really grateful.

Without Louis and Harry’s story, he wouldn’t have made his way to England on his own.

He wouldn’t have met Darcy and the two of them wouldn’t have had an adventure.

They do make a very good team indeed.

He presses a kiss on Darcy’s forehead.

But nothing will become them.

Darcy is destined to take over the Tomlinson’s business, and he isn’t destined to be part of it.

They aren’t meant to be.


	28. Epilogue

The next day Darcy drives Edward to the airport.  
They never say goodbye, and they never mention seeing each other again.  
The wind blows and messes up her hair as Darcy looks up at the sky at the time that Edward’s flight is due to take off, she waves.

Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.  
\- A Walk To Remember, Nicholas Sparks


End file.
